The Forest of Edward's Mind story by Roshandra
by Roshandra
Summary: Edward had resovled to not change Bella and she breaks off the Wedding the day before. What he didn't count on was how Bella would drive a stake into his Heart with her words. Fate though has a Way of Stepping in helping them both to this LOVE n Destiny
1. Chapter 1

The Forest of Edward's Mind

Story by Roshandra Mitchell Simon

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra booksbyroshandra Beta Editor, thank you, Rose Cruz, Fan Fiction

Chapter 1

Prelude

Living without Bella was impossible. My determination to not change her became my purgatory. Does true love have a happy ending? I hoped so, for being an immortal was part of my equation. I could not exist without her. So began my test of Love and Fate...

From the moment I met Bella in high school that day in Forks, Washington, I knew then she would either be the death of me or the life of me. What I had not known was that she was the doorway to my own enlightenment and the discovery into my change. She almost was destroyed when we broke up and I wanted her forgiveness, after all she saved me from destroying myself that day in Italy. Despite everything I still felt like I had that first day, that it was best if we stayed apart. To let her live her life and maybe be with Jacob. I agreed with Jacob that day, that Jacob was by far a better choice for Bella. She could live a normal** –** well**,** a more normal – life than with a vampire. What I had not known was that FATE has a way of bringing star crossed loves together even when they try to fight destiny. I tried to fight it and did not want Bella in my dark world, the world of vampires and endless thirst. I wanted her to be happy, I wanted her to have children and live out a full human life. I would always watch over her. After all, I felt my penance was to protect and observe her from a distance. The love I felt for her could not be explained and I rationalized it over, always at war with myself. However I always came back to the same conclusion: I needed to remove myself from her life. I felt the shadows is where I belonged, there but not there for her to see, to know that I was looking out for her, protecting her.

I could look in on her as I did when we spent that time in high school. Now, though, I had to be wiser and I had to leave her to lead her own life. She had healed me when she saved me and I was so glad she had not died in that foolish jump off the cliff that day. Alice thought she'd drowned. Bella was having a moment of facing demons and adrenaline highs. She was doing that to drown me out**,** or maybe find me. I was so cruel allowing her to be a part of my foolish desires of loving her. My obsession with her tore me up inside. Her scent was my drug… I almost killed the one I loved by letting her be around me and introduc**i**ng her to more problems than she ever needed. I knew it was the right thing to do, the noble thing to do. Let her GO. _Edward let her go!..Let her live now in peace and find her way. Let her love another...Let her go..._ my immortal self grabbed onto her so tightly that I knew my heart would shatter if I released her. But, it had to be done. I didn't deserve her Love or faith in me or her devotion, and her acceptance. I was going to walk away from her once for all. To live a half existence, always remaining in the shadows, serving this penance for loving Bella, so FATE took me. I dared to hope that I could remain in the Shadows where Bella could not see me or sense my presence protecting her, even from me..

'

~ August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight. ~ Story Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra a t booksbyroshandra

The FOREST …

of Edward's Mind and his LOVE..Bella…

.

Fan Fiction by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ..this story belongs to Roshandra the original author of this and the CHARACTERS of this story belong to Stephanie Myers Twilight…respectfully Roshandra ~ booksbyroshandra

Chapter 1

The Forest

All paths lead us through the forest and into a journey of the Love we seek. We are all upon a journey of love and our Hearts guide us. The forest is the time we cannot see where the path is taking us and so we are the fools walking through this shadow and grace and quiet of the trees that surround us. As we enter deeper into the forest and the forest of our minds…we often find ourselves Lost. This is the moment we truly begin to go deeper into that part which guides our footsteps. The trees quietly place a gentle hush over us and our hearts breath. The mind ceases its endless meanderings and we rest there for a moment. This is when we often discover the pathway through this forest and our hearts can breathe. It is the time in the forest that nourishes us even if we cannot see where She will take us. The Knowing of the Trees and this Forest Blesses us and we find love and protection and clarity through the mist and a pathway for our lives. The book opens and we are with the Trees. The fairytale is within us.

Fate takes us…

_Blessings Roshandra_

~ I also believe in happy endings and stories that keep unfolding…

no matter the challenges or how thick the forest is…

I believe in Fairy Tales and LOVE..

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight. ~ Story Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra a t booksbyroshandra

The Forest …of Edward's Mind

Chapter 2

Of Edward….Rio de Janeiro'

Bella in 'the Forest of Edward's Heart

The statue of the Christ's out stretched arms on top of the cliff there in Rio beckoned me to visit before I flew out of this location. It so reminded me of the cross I now carried. Was it not bad enough I carried my burdens? Something I never asked to be was immortal, but I carried on**, **having found love. And then having to both times to tell Bella this would not be wise? I deserved the pain that the universe was giving me, but what had Bella done to deserve this pain? What kind of fate was this that was placed upon me that had my world crumbling? I promised Bella I would not die and yet that meant I had to live without her. Well**,** without really being in the light of her life. I could watch her from the shadows. My plan was to survive this pain and burden in the dark of those grey clouds. My feelings became a clouded veil for me to hide from Bella**,** knowing what was becoming of me.

I needed to hunt before I left Brazil. The conversation I had with Bella at the hotel, left me with a smashed cell phone and damages to the hotel wall. I would need to pay for that damage before I checked out. I breathed in and sighed. I hoped now**, **that Bella would settle her heart and be with Jacob. Bella had the right to a life now and I felt that in our final conversation she believed my reasons. I tried to explain to her that becoming an immortal like myself was not anything I would change my mind on ever. I knew Bella was stubborn and resourceful. I promised Carlisle no more melodrama of my own death or the Volturi. I promised my family that I was resigned now and would be fine. I would join them soon and try not to dampen the goodness Carlisle created for our family. We were different among our own kind. I wanted to be with them, for I loved and missed them very much.

Bella would be fine. Jacob was in love with her. She held love and friendship for him. I wanted to leave Bella alone, that last conversation was hard on us both. She was mad and she did tell me off. But Bella had left _me_ this time. That was a sign that she would move on with her life. The conversation rang through my mind as I headed to check out of the hotel and pay for the damages of the wall in that fit of anger.

"Excuse me, I would like to pay for some damages not on my bill". I told the clerk.

"What damages in your suite, sir?" One eyebrow shot up and a professional calm was on the face of the desk clerk. He shook his head when I handed him my card**. **

"Sir**,** I am sure that the hotel is more than happy to handlewhatever happened. We will place it on your bill after we view the suite. Is that ok with you**,** sir"?

"Yes, of course. Does the Concierge have a car ready for me**?** I'd like to check out now**."**

"The Jaguar you requested is here and your bags will be in the car shortly. The directions to the spots you requested are set in the car's navigation system. Will you need anything else?"

"That will be all. My stay was not what I expected it to be**,** but your city has been a good place for what had to transpire. Thank you". This of course left the clerk in a puzzled but affable state.

There was the key walking to Edward dangling like his neck was on a noose. _How could she say that to me? _She hadripped out my heart in that conversation. But then, wasn't that the plan?If I got her upset enough, she would _want _to be rid of me. The old story of the leave-e or the leave-or. It was better for her to leave me now. But what she said cut me to the quick. Bella had a way of finding just what upset me most and always being so stubborn and independent. She cut right through the heart like a slash across it. Bleeding I was, but that was part of being strong enough to handle her anger and let her ripe into me. I figured that was the plan but she went further than I expected. My heart was bleeding and I had to go talk to the gods now. If only someone would rescue me and help this blood I was losing.

The internal conversation turned off. I sighed and smiled**, **handing a folded bill to the concierge**.** A silver Jaguar was waiting there**,** ready with door open. My mood sulked into it. It was not the Volvo. That held good memories but that was also the past and the foolishness of being a 17 year old in high school. Now at least I could be a Post graduate and figure out a new life plan. Again a new plan, pretend to fit in and live amongst the humans and appear to be normal. My family missed me and my last words with Carlisle was to promise him I would be back in Forks before they all left that region and moved to the Forests of England. I wanted the east coast as I felt she never would show up there but the family would talk about that. The Jaguar was purring now and the directional system in the car gave voice commands to move through the bustling city of Rio. Finally I could breath somewhat but holding this bleeding slashed heart I felt I needed to get through the morning check list and along to a reality that gave some quiet and peace again. Oh, how I loved her and oh she slashed my heart deeply.

I turned on the music. Everything reminded me of Bella**, **though, and it all came crashing down on me again. S_nap out of it, man. Control your thoughts, don't let this bleed you dry. Focus. You are just like any other male on the planet when a girl dumps him. So snap out of it and get on with your life for that is what you had hoped Bella would do in the first place_. _Snap out of it._

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight. ~ Story Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra a t booksbyroshandra

Chapter 3

The Jaguar ~

The Jaguar growled and snaked along the road now and up to the cliffs toward my salvation. I could already see the edges of the forest and I thirsted. I could climb a little more and find a location to pull off so I could hunt and get my thirst under control. I had a flight later that night and I needed to quench my thirst. The voice directional guidance system was already insisting I keep moving ahead. I leaned forward and turned the beast off. Thinking to myself, why did they use a female voice? I knew why but still it bothered me, for I did not want to hear any female voices as Bella's words where still ringing through my ears and heart. I found a spot to slip the Jaguar into off a narrow roadway.

As the Forest began to shroud me I thought to myself how perfect this was. The cover of the forest would hide me and what I was about to do. This region of the world had their own share of my kind so while hunting, I had to be cautious. I was only hunting game but I had to proceed with stealth. Vampires are in this city and location. They hunted human kind or where busy in the drug areas or the banking business. I wanted a few moments to myself to handle my thirst. I also had to deal with my anger with myself. I had left Bella to get lost in the forest the first time I left her. I will never forgive myself for that mistake. Her life was in danger on that incident alone. I kept reaffirming that to myself as I got out of the car and walked into the silence of the lush trees. This time it was her idea. I planned it well. This time she left me. Now I was left in the forest to myself.

_ Ok Edward SHUT UP. Go hunt. And feed your thirst, while your heart is cracked open and bleeding, all over the dumb mistake of getting involved with someone that was not of your own kind...get a grip and shake this off._

As the Forest began to shroud me I thought to myself how perfect this was. The cover of the forest would hide me and what I was about to do. This region of the world had their own share of my kind so while hunting, I had to be cautious. I was only hunting game but I had to proceed with stealth. I wanted a few moments to myself to handle my thirst. I also had to deal with my anger myself. I had left Bella to get lost in the forest the first time I left her and I would never forgive myself for that. I would never call it a mistake, because I made that decision. I _made _that decision consciously and did it on purpose. Her life was in danger on that incident. I was grateful that this time it was her idea. I planned it well. This time she left me. Now _I_ was the one that was left in the forest to myself.

_ Okay, Edward, shut up. Go hunt. Feed your thirst, while your heart is cracked open and bleeding – though of course, you don't bleed – all over the dumb mistake of getting involved with someone that was not of your own kind...get a grip and shake this off._

The forest called to me now and I gave myself over to my primal instincts letting my survival and predatory senses take over. No one would see me off road now and there was prey here. Another being sensed me as well. Walking deeper into the forest I was just listening as my mind hushed. Silence as the hunter shroud moved over me. _Time to HUNT._

The Game here was so different in this part of the world. I had to laugh at myself thinking in terms of eco consciousness. Bella would ask when I traveled with my family as to what kind of game we hunted. This caused me more and more to think of her and how the endangered species raised her conversations to not hunt those animals. I shook it off and focused. This region had BIG CATS. Neither sweet little fauna here nor easy heavy herds of deer like the Pacific Northwest. This was all game and natural prey here for hunting. There were also monkeys and birds, but really? How much blood can you drink from an exotic bird. I chuckled at my own sense of humor. Then there are the snakes here but that was even funnier.

So I hunt what would challenge me. Spotted leopard? Puma? Hmmm. Jaguar like the car I was driving. Just a male or two and that would be exactly what I needed. My hand grabbed the car keys and found a log to hide them under and then I began to scent the air. All kinds of animals flocked to my primal mind and then one stood out. Definitely a feline scent so carefully I headed deeper into the forest to let the hunting began.

Bella would not approve of course. She seemed fine with deer, marabou and elk. A bear almost mauled and killed Emmett prompting his birth into this life. Rose rescued him. This cat was what I needed now, a real predator to fight me. Just like Bella did and shredded and bleed me. This kind of predator could cause damage to me and if he managed to wound me, I would bleed out as a vampire. I would not entertain those thoughts. I'm faster and smarter than any being or jaguar. I hunt like the Englishman in Africa on safari. My instincts go tribal in seconds. Kicking that stuff out of my mind, I go hunt.

This is the Plan.

Quench my thirst. Seek mental redemption at the Christ the Redeemer. Visit the chapel (even though it's not open to the public), I need this to get my mind and body back in order to rejoin my family close up the house and move with them. Yes, this was the new plan.

A snap of underbrush caught my attention. Looking up into the overhead trees, I realized that I was face to face with the cat I was tracking. Its tail switched and I knew it was female. I could smell her and I knew she was a young one – all the hormones, you know, deadly, of course, but still young. I smiled and nodded, letting her be. She put her head down as she had no cubs to protect or she would have attacked me for being in her region of forest. I decided to run deeper into the forest to see what scents I would come across.

Then it hit me.

I smacked into a strong male scent of cat energy and he had marked his territory. Standing very still I scanned the region and spotted, three young males stalking me - the little bastards. When I come off hyper speed dash animals cannot see or sense me. The animal mind is instinctual, predatory even. They wonder why I would be here in their territory.

Well, food is food and I believe I've become the hunted. _This is going to be fun. _In the back of my mind I considered the mature male. A well seasoned mature male was carefully stalking me. These three young cubs were clearly a group of adolescents hunting as a pack. What bothered me was the fact that there might be the mature male watching me while the threesome took me on. That is where the attack would come. This meant four of them. I straightened up, _W__hy the hell not? Emmett would love this story if I come out of this one okay. Maybe even lose a limb. _By this time the three have shifted into hunting mode, I could hear the growls. They thought they had a treat, an easy human snack. Boy they were in for a surprise. They really didn't know – but I was in hunter mode, too! I was almost jubilant at the thought of the fight.

Turning on my heels I allowed them to circle me and give chase. Each set of eyes honed in on me and then I nodded. _Come on boys try and catch a vampire for lunch._

Then I bolted off, just slow enough that they could chase me. I felt my adrenaline rise. The hunt and being hunted allowed me to free my mind, to let the beast within take over. My senses told me to jump now, so I did. I was running on pure instinct. I was almost flying through the tree tops when I noticed it. Another vampire, a female had joined the chase?

Suddenly all went still.

I saw the pack turn on their heels, confused.

I saw the female and the den of three young males caught sight of her. Lunch again for sure they thought!  
>The woman was not human and she was going to take on the three. I wanted to watch this and figure out why she showed up and she did not notice me? She hunted and in a flash she attacked number one from behind. She went for the weakest one. She was a vampire but to my knowledge very few if any of them lived as our family did. This female though was cat like and she clearly was only going for the blood of these felines and males too. The leader of this group then turned on her and she leaped out of way up into the trees and holding her freshly killed prey between her teeth.<p>

Suddenly she saw me and we stared into each other's eyes. She was in shock not moving from my stare. My eyes were locked on her and I was hungry. I wanted the blood she had just caught but in respect of her hunting I knew I had to leave this stare to hunt for my own catch. The Blood of the young Cat was driving me mad. Pools of venom were collecting in my mouth which wanted to be released into my prey. I nodded and leaped to another section and so left this interesting find alone.

Moving to this other tree section I dropped to the ground and looked around and then took off. Shorter journey than expected and then saw what was watching me and watched both the young group of males that now was one shorter. I was being hunted and this suited me fine. The Girls eyes though left an impression in me. Her eyes where GREEN and Cat like. She was lithe like Alice on her feet and agile like a cat. She had locked deeply into me in her surprise with green almond cat like eyes. Brushing that off I realized hunting here was a bit crowded. Laughing to myself, I shook that off.

I saw the female and the den of three young males caught sight of her. Lunch again for sure they thought!  
>The woman was not human and she was going to take on the three. I wanted to watch this and figure out why she showed up and she did not notice me? She hunted and in a flash she attacked number one from behind. She went for the weakest one. She was a vampire but to my knowledge very few if any of them lived as our family did. This female though was cat like and she clearly was only going for the blood of these felines and males too. The leader of this group then turned on her and she leaped out of way up into the trees and holding her freshly killed prey between her teeth. Suddenly she sees me and we stared into each other's eyes. She was in shock not moving from my stare. My eyes were locked on her and I was hungry. I wanted the blood she had just caught but in respect of her hunting I knew I had to leave this stare to hunt myself. The Blood of the young Cat was driving me mad, pools of venom were collecting in my mouth which wanted to be released into my prey. I nodded and leaped to another section and so left this interesting find alone.<p>

The cat had me on his radar and my primal instincts came in now. '_Male to male'_. I was so thirsty now that I did not even care if this cat tried to shred me. I wanted blood now and I was on a hunt for a Pride male, the leader of the pack. He was a loner and was mature on hunting. Just what I had in mind till I realized the two confused younger males where suddenly in the bushes coming in from the circumference? I calculated quickly that that distraction was part of how this group could hunt and determined to not run. Let myself be the prey and feast. WHY NOT? My anger and thirst demanded all three would suit me just fine. Then I felt the quick attack from behind at my heel. One of the feisty young ones had overshot and missed by a mile. I gazed into the cat's almond shaped eyes, knowing they would be lifeless soon. Mano y mano, but I smelled blood. My own blood and that caused a moment of concern.

My Achilles' heel had a swipe taken out of it. I began to feel it drain and thought of the Roman and Greek times. The warrior Achilles' and his one weakness is how he went down. _Right Edward, focus. Dinner is coming._ Taking a deep trenched position of sinking into my heels I positioned myself for the frontal attack of this BIG JAGUAR Cat. And so be it I thought. _Come and get me and I am going to eat you up! _The big cat attacked but at the same time the second young male grabbed my arm and grabbed on tight. I twirled and it was then the large male grabbed me at the throat. Blood I could smell spilling forth and it was my blood.

Then in a split second the third young male was on my foot and the three of them were taking me to the ground. Above I sensed that girl again and she was waiting and watching? For what? To see these cats try to make dinner of me? Well enough on that and with that I kicked the one young cat off my leg. Then I heard him smash into a tree trunk. Then another clamped onto my arm and a chunk of meat left with the cat…it too bounced and hit a tree. The big cat was now free to wrestle me to the death as I was bleeding out more and more, faster and faster. The predator's teeth were in my neck, not letting me go. The cat did not know this prey was a vampire. Then with power and focus I rolled and got my hands on either side of its jaw. I forced the mouth of the jaguar to open. I released my neck from his bite. I then stood up bleeding and grabbed my own throat to put pressure on it for a moment. The cat shook his head as I had tossed him into the trees too and he hit hard. This surprised the cat in hunting mode. Humans don't do that? Then again cats are the predator and humans the prey if they wander too deeply into this forest of theirs. This was supposed to be a quick hunt and then see the one sightseeing spot and head to the airport. Now I was bleeding out and might really not make it through this. _Kick it out of your mind Edward. Kill the animal and get your needs met now. _

Then it was the moment. The CAT reeled on his feline feet and agile body came at me from the side while the younger two male cats both attacked at cross hairs. I would be CAUGHT between two opposing forces and prey would be done in instantly. UP I went with much effort and turned in mid air and down again and kicked the young males out of the way and SNATCHED the big CAT. In a second my mouth was at his Throat. The two smaller cats spun and were back and then SHE jumped in. Clearly she wanted more food herself and took one and knocked the other out of the way. She batted it away like an annoying fly. I drank in the Male Jaguar and reached for the last cat. I would have two now and that was that!

I dropped to the floor of the Brazilian rain forest drinking. The heat of the cat was in my blood as well as the adrenalin. I was being satisfied by the primal energy of this Big Cat and emptied it in no time. My hunting skills where swift and always walked away clean but not this time. I was bleeding still myself and I was torn to shreds. My clothes where a mess and bloodied too. This was how my heart was from Bella, torn to shreds. How fitting this was!

The Big cat was lifeless and the smaller cat was now my focus but as I released one and began to drain the next kill my eyes began to clear and I saw HER watching me. Her Green eyes had just flashed as she was biting into her second cat. I did not expect to turn into the prey and yet it was fitting. My mind was fogged due to my anger and my wounding and this would kill my family if after all that I have put them thru only to be killed in this way. I could hear my brother Emmet laughing his butt off at that. On the other hand was this green eyed vampire female I stumbled upon in her forest sent to be my angel and watch over me so my life would not end. I would never know that for I had to finish and get out of this mess. I finished the young male quickly and stumbled to my feet. She did not stop staring at me.

I looked down at my clothing and noted what bad shape I was in.

She finished and walked calmly to a tree and grabbed some of the bark and leaves and walked back and pointed to my leg and his neck. She was beautiful, clearly regional and clearly a vampire.

Not saying a word and staring at me she pointed to wanting to help me in some way. It seemed that she was going to help me and the gentleman in me could not refuse her aid. The vampire in me though was wary and with good reason. Who was she and did she speak?

"Ah, thank you. Do you have a name?"

She looked right through me and she nodded and put her finger to her mouth to quiet any talk. I looked around and noted that she was maybe not alone in this forest hunting. It seemed best to let this all go and just let her stop the bleeding out and then get back to the other Jaguar and head to the places on the list and the airport then.  
>She reached down to the floor of the forest and with one finger wrote a word. 'Libera'.<p>

Puzzled I nodded as I figured this was her name maybe. I felt obliged to write my name then and my finger went to 'Edward Cullen' and 'thank you'. She smiled and nodded and she looked in the direction of telling me she was not alone and it was time to leave. She reached for the Big Jaguar and opened its mouth and I knew I was to take a tooth of the cat. I was going to take one then thought two for I bagged both the big cat and the smaller. As I did she grabbed the smaller cat and extracted two teeth from them and handed to me. I shook my head and only took one from her hand because she hadbagged both the males and I got one young male and the big cat. Her eyes penetrated into me and she felt my body respond. My kind could look deeply into another and I never felt this with Bella. With her it was something else. With her she had those beautiful deep delicious chocolate eyes I swam in and was lost in. With Bella I was in the mystery of learning to swim in her and try to understand what was happening. Libera though penetrated me to be core and this was new for me. She saw right into me. Something flashed in my mind to leave now and fast. I watched as suddenly Libera was digging a hole for my blood covered leaves and clearly hiding my scent. She bit into the dead carcasses of the cats and I knew she was not alone now for sure. I stretched out my mind hearing others thoughts and began to pick up on someone. In fact I could hear foot falls now and I knew I had to move fast and back to my car. One more long stare into those Green eyes and I was gone. She did not look up once and finished her work I assumed.

My bleeding had stopped and I was at the Jaguar car in no time. My clothing was a mess and I took off everything fast. Grabbed the clothing leaving no traces and naked I had the car keys in his hand and hit open trunk. Unzipped the carryon luggage and went for jogging sport pants and a t-shirt and b-cap. Grabbed the Ray Bands and threw the soiled clothes in a plastic bag and hit the trunk shut and dashed for the car door and the Jaguar engine on. The car hummed as she sped out of the forest…satiated and thirst handled. I looked in the rear view mirror at my neck, teeth marks and bruising. That would heal and felt the arm that a junk of my muscle and meat was gone now. Carlisle would aid that and I would have to regenerate tissue there. The Achilles' tendon was not torn but Carlisle needed to patch me up some for sure. I could walk and cope with the pain there. I laughed and shook my head and the navigational system began to speak to me again. A woman's voice – I just shook my head.

The female voice said to turn at the road coming to my right and I was 8.7 kilometers from my destination. I felt if I was followed I could not trust spending much time here and I would shorten my trip to Redemption of Christ visit. Grab a few snap shots and head to the airport. I needed to pick up another cell phone since I damaged and destroyed the one I had when I finished talking to Bella. It was dangerous for me to not be connected by phone to my family and whatever occurred in that rain forest there was something intriguing about that girl. In my hand I held two large canine incisors and one small one….that would be proof to my brothers. The damage though I took on was also a sign of how badly I was damaged with love that shredded my heart. Now this body matched it. Now I needed to make this peace with this Redemption of Souls. Bella's Soul was not going to be compromised by me or my way of living in that world I was caught in. The danger of my selfishness of wanting this love with her was the soul she was. I still believed I had no soul...even though Bella believed I did. I had only pain. Shredded and pain and almost mangled by Jaguar cats. _Funny it all was and I was driving a Jaguar car up this mountain to the Christ Redeemer. Oh, the irony. Okay, what else before you get out of Rio, Edward?_

Navigational system made a gentle announcement the car was approaching my destination and could see the parking lot and knew the rest of atonement was in order now.

The tram had a space and jumped onto with the ticket the concierge had placed in the Jaguar for this. The Red Tram moved along smoothly up the hillside of Corcovado. Then there it was. Christ with open arms and looming ahead for what was hoped redemption and some kind of suture to sew up this bleeding slashed heart. Cameras snapping and then the ride brought everyone to a stop and there it was. Huge art deco Christ and arms stretched open and a man approached me.

"Sir, are you Mr. Masen Cullen"?

Spinning fast and my aching heel, I nodded to him and answered. "Yes, Edward Masen Cullen…yes."

The ticket to see this private part of the tour was met with no ticket in hand? Realizing when I got out of the Jaguar that I had apparently left it on the dashboard.

The guide nodded and said that it was not a problem. The concierge had set this up. The docent guide assumed I was the right fit and person and so we walked away from the group. The Chapel inside the lower section of this Statue of Christ the Redeemer was where my curiosity was taking him. I needed a moment to gather myself and just enjoy the quiet. The view was amazing but my focus was on that door and the key the guide was walking us to. The Art Deco Base of this Statue was in Black marble squares. All black while the Huge Statue of Christ was all White, a beautiful contrast. My guide began sharing all the background information on the Statue and the years and the engineers and artist from France that did the head of Christ. We walked briskly to the door.

Corcodova had a breath taking view of Rio and there with the Statue shrouded in the fog and clouds protected this visit. The purpose after all was to go into the private chapel and ask for forgiveness and maybe see if this redemption could aid this tormented heart. The anger now had subsided and the guide was very quiet while he drew out a key to unlock the door in the base of the Statue so that entrance could be gained.

"Sir, this is considered to be a janitor's closet. Admittance to it is rare as you know and the concierge' said that you would only need a brief visit inside."

Inside was a bigger surprise then the Jaguar episode. The entire small private chapel was a wonder itself. Simple, stark and all Art Deco of black marble floor and wood carved simple antique pews and a single Altar. There were three side windows on three directions with black glass and the view with in a hush of mystery and majesty. All this was hidden behind a small janitor's drape that blocked the view of this inner sanctuary. There where stairs to the side to access the internal statue as it was hollow. This one black drape shrouded this inside state of quiet and solitude and observation views. There was total silence and this presence of this mountain and View of Rio.

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight. ~ Story Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra a t booksbyroshandra

Chapter 4

His Miracle…if you wish to call it that and the Angel

Then it all smashed in on me…as fast as her words had done to my heart. The wrecking ball.

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra booksbyroshandra Beta Editor, thank you, Rose Cruz, Fan Fiction


	2. Chapter 2

The Forest of Edward's Mind

Story by Roshandra Mitchell Simon

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra booksbyroshandra Beta Editor, Rose Cruz, thank you, Fan Fiction

Chapter 4

His Miracle…if you wish to call it that and the Angel

Then it all smashed in on me…as fast as her words had done to my heart. The wrecking ball.

While I was hoping it could not be with such wounding everything smashed in on me. I knew she would strike back for I had left Bella once and she was lost in the forest and I did not know that happened. I never ever would have done that if I had known. I still carried the guilt for that and when she saved me later in Voltura it all seemed to mend everything. My love for her has been all consuming and all absorbing. How to be this love kept me from seeing anything but her. I was wide open to her and there was no guarding that.

She slashed me to shreds and I had to allow her to get her held back anger out. Her doubt and pain at the source of her previous wounding. I was that source. I had put a hole in Bella's heart, repaired it after Jacob put sunshine and laughter back in it and I came back to being with her. But my heart never left her. My Heart belonged to her. She owned my heart and everything I am.

This time I had to leave this open heart surgery cut me apart. She had ever right to destroy me now and hate me…I destroyed the phone in my hands and put a six in deep hole in the wall with my fit of rage. I held feelings so deeply for her but it was not safe for her to be with me and I was not ever going to let her become a monster as I was. I saw no way through this other than to end it finally. She had to hate me and keep on hating me so she could move on or be with Jacob or whomever she wanted to chose to love. That was my Penance for being so selfish to want her and think I could figure out a way for us to be together. The Arrogance of my thinking. I offended the way our differences created each of who we where.

Inside the door of the chapel it closed behind me. On the other side of the black velvet shroud drape it hit me and I broke then. Alone finally and in this small Chapel under the weight of the body of this Statue of Christ I BROKE into a million shards of my heart and I cried..i cried and was on my knees holding the vistages of my guts and I poured out my pain finally. Why send her to me God why, why? Why did she save me and I would have this pain again? Why did this happen? I never once asked to be Loved or to meet someone like her. WHY GOD WHY ! Silence but for my choking sounds and pain from this shredded thing inside of me called a vampire heart.

Nothing moved. I could not move. Flashes of her voice…I fell fully to the floor and there in pain it all came back. Being alone for so long. The endless high school matriculations. Seeing her that first day. Saying good bye in the forest and kissing her on the forehead. Then in Italy her rushing in from nowhere? Then happiness and closenss and holding her and loving her. Repairing the damage….then finally the common sense that it really needed to end. Jacob was the one to wake me up on that and make some sense break thru. His argument was right. She would be better off with him and then…..oh then my gut ached and my body doubled into a fetal position. I was in pain….almost like when I was changed into a vampire. I was in pain on loss of this love. Pain and then the Light?

Flooding this chapel was some blinding Light and I was suffocating in its Brightness.

Then a VOICE. 'Edward you are not alone and you grieve this loss and we hear your prayer.'  
>Brazil is where you must pick up the pieces of this and it is a test. Love wins itself but you must find for yourself that being noble and doing what is the virtuous thing to do that there are rewards for that. Your soul is not damned Edward. You are not punished for what happened to you by your father Carlisle' and your 'mother's last wishes to save you'. He is not punished for what he did to save you from death. Yes you are in a different kind of living as death but you are between worlds as your kind is. This is why she came. She too is in pain and her anger is part of her own conflict on how to be together. She must gain insight herself and into the soul of what this is all about. Her love is Pure for you as your Love is Pure for her. This is why she came and this is your Salvation and Redemption. You are not being punished nor is she but you are both being tested. You are on your knees to your own confusion. If you felt you needed to part from her you would have found peace in that. You found conflict and so this is why your pain is occurring..you cannot come to a place that is considered holy and ask for forgiveness for none is necessary. You must forgive yourself. You must learn what this test is about and you must heal from the inside out. She must grow also and she must decide also for she had chosen you Edward. Her heart chose you and the pain you feel and her anger is part of the plan you thought would help this. Has it helped you ? Has it helped her? Soulmates as you are to each have a Bond that cannot be broken once seeing each other. Your pain is on SEPARATION and the Illusion of that. So suffer you shall as you believe this is your Penance and she shall love another but always be Wanting of the Love with you. Do you see what you have set in motion and the test now?<p>

The GASPING of my pain grew louder and then this blood poured forth. I thought it was my neck wound and I might be bleeding out. It was blood of this heart and it was then I went blank. I have no idea what occurred but this Angel took me somewhere. While I was there I was told I would remember and it would help me to understand this test and that vampires do have a soul but that this form of life was with a mystery. I was told I would understand later. The next thing was the attendant was shaking me to wake up and startled me back. I Gulped in Air.. I could hear Bella's anger and SCREAMS at me again. I was in a tunnel of sorts. Tormented and shreded by her voice and the pain of separation.

'How dare you tell me to go be with Jacob. HOW Dare you tell me again you love me but we cannot solve being together. I saved you from killing yourself. Edward I HATE you ..what you put me thru before..you left me in the forest and you told me later you would never ever do that again. You are telling me again you are leaving me so I can be with a human boyfriend…we were engaged..we were to be married ..I did not want to agree to marry. I LET You talk me into that ..I let you do that so we could be married and I was to have YOU CHANGE me ..you agreed and I agreed to be married..I did not want to get married.. I HATE you…the day before the WEDDING how could you I HATE you…'

_Suck it up Edward..hell hath no fury and you harmed her again and even if this was the plan to get her to dump you now, you set it up…..you wanted to postpone the wedding..she got honest with you and you knew she did not want to marry. You also did not want to change her nor allow Alice or Carlisle to do so..She refused to live out her life as a human..You understood the aging problem but whatever selfishly got into your head that she could handle this and you could be ok with her being a monster like you…._

This was all twisted ..she broke off the WEDDING then…went and got her dress then threw the dress at you at the house and she did her best to smash everything…no one could talk to her…then you left and she called you on the phone so many times. Charlie was furious and he would not tolerate anymore pain for his daughter…

That last phone call you made was the nail in the coffin….Your OWN Coffin ! Calling her from Rio to see if she was ok. She shreded you. She said she SLEPT with Jacob...that was the nail in the Coffin…you where GASPING for AIR she drove a STAKE into your heart with that short sentence….you had that one coming. …omg she slept with Jacob to take her virginal self out of the sexual intimacy she wanted with you. You drove her to that but she slept with him so FAST. Spite you and slap you in your face. She succeeded and the Stake to the heart was pain on top of a bleeding heart.….but you went into a RAGE while your heart was being pounded by her fists and one big STAKE to your vampire heart instantly. How could she go sleep with him so fast ? What was she thinking? Did she run over to him and drag him off to bed instantly? What kind of a first experience is that..Jacob was probably a virgin too …._STOP Edward stop stop…_

The attendant was grabbing my shoulder and I was growling at this man? He stepped back and said, "sir very sorry, you where passed out on the chapel floor and writhing in some pain or I thought dying or having a seizure"?

Somehow my words came out of my mouth…."it's all right. I am fine. Only a broken heart. I came here to pray and ask for forgiveness and I don't know what happened. I had some kind of a Vision and I feel very sick inside".

"Sir, Rio is a place for souls to find something they cannot find in their lives elsewhere. Whatever brings you here you will find solutions and answers. Sir we need to go as you have a flight I was told and the clouds are lifting here and I know that you wanted to not be in the sunlight".

With that my body was ready to leave and get back to the tinted dark windows of the Jaguar and take a long drive to the airport. Time to think and time to leave Rio now. Walking over to the side candle altar this hand was shaking and lighted one single candle with a prayer. Redeem us both if it is God's Will and let Peace find its way now to her heart and to this hard decision. Let Peace be of the wisdom to ask for this. The pain is of my soul awakening and dying all over again.. Please give this Peace to this pain …a hush came over the chapel and all candles blew out but for the One that was just Lighted…..the Prayer was heard. We left the Chapel and headed to the ride down and then I moved to the Jaguar sitting waiting there. Coming with me was this Angel of Fate and in the Shadows of my mind. Rio was going to be a long drive to the airport and the car helped tinted windows and the music.  
>( Debussey) <p>

How could she Sleep with Jacob so soon and so fast…oh Bella !

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra booksbyroshandra Beta Editor, Rose Cruz, thank you, Fan Fiction


	3. Chapter 3

The Forest of Edward's Mind

Story by Roshandra Mitchell Simon

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra booksbyroshandra Beta Editor, Rose Cruz, thank you, Fan Fiction

Chapter 5

The Flight home

~ back to Forks…closing the house…moving...to the England…

First class was comfortable but the discomfort beating in my chest was not. Doodling on my napkin Bella's name was being written, a pair of Angel Wings next to it. Then more doodling of her name. Finally the name of the girl with the Green eyes was written down. Libera, what did that mean? I never met any vampire females like her. Those eyes went right into me and of all places to run across someone hunting animals for their blood? Inside my pocket of my jacket were the jaguar teeth. Things where not going as planned. The plan was to talk calmly to Bella. Help her to be all right with her decision to call off the wedding. My postponing it was my way to let her break it all off. That was all going to plan but when I called her from Brazil I never expected her rant. That final blow was beyond cruel and her giving herself to Jacob when she was mad at me. I shuddered but it got her to leave me and make sure she moved her life forward far from me fast. That was the final blow to me and I deserved that. What did that angel mean that this was all a test? I was not a living thing and since I was a vampire, I felt there was nothing about Angels or God loving me. I was dead and although Carlisle believed we all had a soul I also was more of a philosopher on it all. Bella though was the one that believed in my having a soul and said my heart found her heart and she saw my soul. Never did I believe that. Now I had an Angel and Pain and none of this I thought possible. I also met a vampire female that left a cat like lasting impression on me. Maybe it was time to explore and travel the world some. Maybe it was time to see if others of our kind where around, more like my like our family of Carlisle's. I no longer could think of Bella and I wanted the Peace I prayed for and Peace for her Life. I had to let her go now and with how she ended it, it was my own doing. My plan got the best of me. However I looked at it….I lost what I loved most and I was staked in my heart or maybe my soul. I did not know for until she came I felt no pain. I had no joy and I was to myself and my thoughts, but when she came I felt alive and I was in Love. Now I finished it all and again the plan did not work as I hoped.

But it was over now and damage control clean up was in motion.

The doodling on the napkin was covered with her Bella's and with arrows and a Stake. Well she asked once if my home had a moat, coffins, and dragons, now I had this Stake through my heart. Looks like I was really dead now. How much more dead can a vampire get? The flight was preparing to land and the napkin got crumpled and the stewardess collected it with the other sundries of finished flight time. My life was down the 'drain' now or into my own growing black hole of Calcutta. She 'saved me once and now I saved her'. With the stake in my heart and empty cavity of a vampire body I felt I handled that the best I could. She would never let go of me and now …maybe now she would. The peace, where is the peace? Angel do you hear me? - A staked vampire, like any other male on the planet - I was staked, bleeding and stumbling along in the forest of this mess.

SeaTac Airport was finding my flight landing and night lights twinkling. I knew Carlisle would be there to pick me up and then we would talk. First class customers were ready to disembark.

Carlisle was there I knew even though I had forgotten to pick up a new cell. Then walking off the plane corridor to the terminal an arm came around my shoulders.

"Son it will be fine. I do agree with your decision this time and I think she will be fine this time. Bella wanted to change and be with us but…we all wanted what you both wanted and that was to see you both happy and together. So how bad was your conversation…let's talk as we get the car."

He noticed my catch in my leg and immediately went into doctor mode.

"Edward, what is the problem with your leg"?

"Actually Carlisle the leg is not too bad but it's the chunk of meat taken out of my arm. I was doing some Cat hunting and one caught a piece of me and another caught my Achilles heel. Then this female vampire with green eyes showed up and took one of the young jaguar males out that was ready to take me down. One had me, the big One by my throat too".

"What! Edward you could have bleed out and died there in Rio. What was going through your mind son?"

"Actually she told me she slept with Jacob. That rather messed up my mind. That is what was going through my mind while i was hunting to handle my thirst needs before I left Rio."

"I am so sorry to hear that son, but you know she was hurt, mad and a lot of it was around this fact you where not comfortable with her becoming one of us. I am so so sorry on this and I had hoped it would work out for you both and for this Love you have for her. She loves you you know".

We slide into the black Mercedes and Carlisle headed us home and was going to exam my wounds. I pulled out the cat teeth and he shook his head. He realized the big ones where a fully grown mature male. Shook his head again and drove.

The house was all aglow and Alice ran out.

Carlisle clicked the 'garage door opener' and I expected him to pull in and I then saw the damaged silver Volvo. I gasped and grabbed my chest.

The car was destroyed by some act of vengeance and I knew instantly that meant Bella. My hands went to my pocket to grab my car keys and see it up close. My knees went weak and I walked over to see the car. Emmett was coming towards me chortling and Jasper in emotional calm and silence.

"Yeah dude she did a number on your ride. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."  
>Jasper glanced at Emmett and words stopped pouring out of his mouth but his smirk on his face remained.<p>

Carlisle braced me and I just shook my head.

'Hey bro it's ok, we got the replacement coming. Relax dude, insurance will take care of it. We said a bear broke into our house and destroyed some things. And the new one will be here first thing in the morning."

"Emmett it's twisted. She twisted the body of a Volvo? Emmett, my car and I cannot believe she did this."

"Dude she was pissed and wait."….with that Jasper stepped in and Carlisle.

Alice blurted out. "Edward I SAW, I saw you almost got mangled and who is the girl with the Green eyes"?

"Ah, well you saw her so you tell me Alice".  
>Esme ran out and Emmett stood there and Jasper smiled calmly.<p>

_Death of my Volvo lingered in the garage and Carlisle moved me into the house and let the car and its flat tires and smashed body and glass windows just be a tombstone to the past. I could not even breathe when I saw it sitting there._  
>"Cats huh! Big ONES! …Emmett was on me and out of my hands came the trophies. He was clear I won the battle and next thing Carlisle had me in the dining room examining my wounds. Alice gulped and Emmett said. "Hey wow, by the neck it got you. Hey, you are FAST. How did that cat do that"?<p>

"Edward I SAW, I saw you almost got mangled and who is the girl with the Green eyes"?

"Ah, well you saw her so you tell me Alice".

Apparently my tendon was torn. The chunk of body muscle and tissue from my arm would grow back but Carlisle had to cut more out so it would come in smoothly. That was going to pain me. More pain besides this stake in my heart…..Bella how could you tell me that?

_Toughen up Edward...toughen up…Hell hath no fury…remember? __How could she Sleep with Jacob so soon and so fast…oh Bella!_

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight. Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra booksbyroshandra Beta Editor, Rose Cruz, Fan Fiction Thank you


	4. Chapter 4

The Forest of Edward's Mind

Story by Roshandra Mitchell Simon

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra booksbyroshandra Beta Editor, Rose Cruz, thank you, Fan Fiction

Chapter 6

The Family discussion

~ back to Forks…closing the house...moving…

Our move…new life location

Esme looked right 'at me' and hugged my shoulders with her caring motherly compassion. Alice was pissed at me big time, but that was due to her being so mad that she lost Bella again as her best friend. Alice knew my plan and she did not agree with it or support me. I could tolerate her stares and anger and that fairy attitude cutting through me. Jasper patted my shoulders and he as an Empath he understood the decision. Rose of course was in her usual mood and relieved Bella was no longer with us or part of the family. Emmett said nothing and looked down at his feet. Carlisle was the one to speak first and I braced myself. He had taken care of my wounds and now the bleeding heart that none of them but Esme felt. Well maybe Carlisle too but I had to break this for all of them and promised them I would not try to end my life without Bella. I was ready to 'man up and then hoped our family group could move on.

"Edward, son you know how we all 'feel' on this and the cancelled wedding. We all went through this and you know when she began breaking up the furniture that the shambles she left here with us was due to the fact you left to Rio. You went right out of town and needed to face that square on with her. You didn't son and we all paid a high penalty for this. Charlie drove up to take her home and brought two squad cars and feared what he was going to find. She almost needed to be sedated due to her anger and the breaking up of Esme's furniture. She destroyed your room son and just take a look at her feelings she poured out upstairs. We all have come to terms with it. I know you will handle the things Bella broke and replace that for your mother and …"

"Carlisle, I know, I really know and I will handle all the clean up and cost of anything damaged. I am truly sorry. Esme I know you love Bella and you all know how much I love her still. I did not want her to be changed and I know I put you all and Bella most of all through this and I am so deeply sorry. Alice I know you put so much into the 'wedding' and helping Bella and everything and I will never be able to say I am sorry often enough. I know I hurt my family and I am just trying to do what is 'right' for Bella and her life to move on. I accomplished that. I did call her from Rio and she told me 'off' and she also told me she moved on in her own terms'. BOOK CLOSED."

"It's OVER now and I have no desire to check in on her and I am ready to let her live and do her life. I want to move away from Forks now and I wanted to see where you all wanted us to move, I am truly sorry for what I did to all of us and to her."

"Son, that is not the concern. We are fine. Well, Alice and you have to talk this out but we are fine. We want you to be ok and know we support you and we are just as concerned for you but we want you to know that we do understand your decision. Bella did not want to get married so soon after school and she would not be able to have children if she went with this kind of existance. We know that she wanted to be with you and we know that was her feelings of how much she loves you and we are sure knowing her, she is still that way. It's time we all move from Forks so she and you may be able to get on with your own lives and let it all rest."

"Thank you Carlisle, and I was not expecting your support. I screwed up and …well look at what Brazil did to me." Then I heard Emmett with a big sound growl at me. My family loved me and I was grateful.

Esme got up and hugged me again and I decided to head to the discussion on where we were all thinking of moving. "What is the location you think we should move to?"

" The East Coast has great forests and then there is Canada, Montana also, but that might be too close still to Washington. England or Europe?"

Only two choices came out of them. EAST Coast or ENGLAND….we had all spent time before in college on the east coast and loved and knew it well. England though was a location only Carlisle had explored and it all came forth in one mutual agreement. England seemed to offer more options and Scotland too. We could find a nice country home and Esme would love remodeling and Carlisle would find a good hospital and the rest of us could maybe begin more adult lives and business. My head was swimming with the pain still and being back in the house but I knew it would figure a way and it would be ok. I felt I should go upstairs and unpack and then see what mess Carlisle spoke about.

Top of the stairs was my road block of a sister. For as small as Alice was she had the force of a giant.  
>"Well ok Alice go for my throat like the jaguar male did. Tear me to shreds and tell me how awful I am."... and with that she stepped aside and I saw my Room. I gasped as I could not believe the destruction there. Bella destroyed my entire room. The Bed I bought us was metal and it looked like she bent the canopy bed and it was in shambles. It was MANGLED! How did that girl do that? My mind raced around the room. All the music was smashed. Every single CD. My lifetime of Journals now lay as confetti on the floor. Then I realized 'stuff was missing'? I turned to Alice and with one look she smugly walked over to the balcony door and looked down to the garden below two stories. I followed her lead and winced when I saw the mess. She trashed my clothing and every single important belonging Bella dumped it all out the open door and a pile of it was there like junk now. It was all gone. All the writing I did. All the books I treasured. The music I wrote for her and the art and the journals. GONE.<p>

"Alice she destroyed my room and the bed I proposed to her on. The worst of it is when I called her from RIO she told me she slept with Jacob. Bella put a stake in my heart in that one simple truth moment and I understood her anger and…." Alice's finger came up to my speaking and a laugh from her mouth with indignation.

"Oh for crying out loud Edward, she was pissed at you and she knew what would get to you. I don't see that she slept with Jacob at all!"

I turned from the bed and I looked right at Alice. "What, what are you saying?"

" You JERK, Edward, she lied to you to make you hurt as much as you hurt her. It worked!" Alice turned and walked out of the room. There I was collapsing down on the broken mangled bed and the trashed room and confetti of my years of journals. She lied to me to punish me. Oh Bella how could you and I did not hesitate to believe her. What a jerk I am and the trail of destruction she left in my family home was more wild with passion then the jaguars that tried to kill me. Looking around what was left of my room I saw Passion and anger and Love….she destroyed the room and my things and the bed….

"Alice how did she destroy this metal iron bed?"

Then I saw the weapon. She had a sledge hammer! Omg. Maybe the jaguars were safer than if I had stayed and faced her when this all went down. A sledge Hammer!

There was the ring and as I reached for it I began to choke back my feelings. I had to get out of the house and steady myself and go hunt. I needed to stay calm and just see this mess as a final statement to her anger and hurt and my foolishness and to my family for they loved her as much as I did and the Ring was the only thing she left and did not destroy it. Out the window I went as that was the quickest way to the forest and began to run. Run where? Run to what? Aimlessly I shot in the direction to distance from everything and including myself. I needed to go numb and not think anymore. Just run. Run away and run out the pain and the shock of what she left. Run and run and so my head began to calm down. Then the cottage Esme was preparing for us after the honeymoon. Run Edward run and my legs took me further. Fir trees ripped by me and I kept running and then the hush of the forest came over me. I saw a small herd of deer and one buck nearby and I went for the male. I pounced all my anger and hurt on this wild thing and I drank of him so fast I did not quench myself. I looked around and then I saw the female deer in shocked and not running from me. I could not touch them. I ran again and this time I ran into moose and I ravaged at least five of them and only the bulls and then it caught up with me. I was in Canada and I was now so full of wild animal blood I was sloshing. I began to feel sick and threw up some of my catches and I stumbled to a huge boulder. Then it came to me.

Create a forest of Trees around yourself Edward. Take the forest with you and hide your pain in there and put the trees around you as a citadel of insulation and of the fact you still LOVE her so much and you did this to help her and help protect her from your world.

Then a fawn curled up there in the underbrush saw me and I saw that as Bella. She will heal from this and she will get moving on her own this time. You are the wounded messed up one. You did it toyourself and the fact from the beginning this had you and you feel so much love for her. She is stronger then you are as a vampire. She went through her own hell and now this time Edward you made that bed and you let it be. The fawn then looked right at me and then the eyes of that girl in Rio in the forest, her eyes suddenly flashed. Maybe that was no accident and maybe finding someone of your' own kind is what the balance of nature means. The green eyes were already haunting me and then sanity washed over me.

How far had I run to get away from myself? Go home Edward. Go home and it's time to leave Forks now for good and move out of range of any of this. Run and leave the fawn be and the destruction and the hope is that Bella will maybe fall in love with Jacob. He cleaned this up once before and now it's his turn to have' your girl'. That thought found a growl coming out of my own body and my heart ached again and the reality that it was done now was real. Let it be.

The Trees rushed by as running back to the Cullen home was the focus point now. It was all becoming a blur and this numbed the rest of the thoughts too now. Then before knowing it, in this evening darkness that was overtaking the shadows the Meadow was in sight.

The Meadow was where it all began.

We both where 'bleeding and the meadow somehow the meadow did not look the same as I walked calmly into it with the night around me'

She and I found the openness of our hearts that day. We spent time in the meadow.  
>Laurent almost killed her and tried to take her life here too. The meadow now had many sides to it and not just the Love we first felt. Now as the meadow was Quiet…only the memories where present... it was EMPTY now of her and empty of the part where I wanted us to be Forever.<p>

The Meadow of the first moments to just look at her and her see me in the sunlight. I was hiding nothing of myself to her, the meadow of the first love between lovers. Seeing each other with nothing between us. Nothing to hide and only to be there seeing each other. Dare I take a step there and remember how it all began?  
>This is where it started and this is where it ends. The meadow was of love and it needs to end peacefully in love and if I loved her as I said I did then I accept how this turned back on me and let this be how it is now.<p>

And so the Lion now was the lamb and the Lamb destroyed the Lion by leaving the token of that love un-shattered. She left the ring. How many times did I 'ask her to marry me' and then my hopes it would all somehow work out. I loved her eternally and she wanted forever. Loved her more then she could ever understand and…I loved her Forever and that was beyond Eternity.

In that night and in the 'shadows' a red color washed over the meadow. Was it the blood Bella was bleeding inside her body now. It was my blood and loss of her? My being a vampire was the reason this would not work and so blood washed over my thoughts and this meadow and that boundary could not be crossed. As much as I wanted her Forever with my Eternity the desire of her blood and her body and her heart bathed me in that thirst. The internal desire for her, that pain of that kind of 'wanting'. I would never cross that boundary of changing Bella.

Jacob was right and he entered my thoughts and I agreed. Bella would have a better life chance with Jacob. She could live a more normal life.

The Meadow now was empty and so was this moment devoid of Bella. I was bleeding inside myself now and bleeding for the longing would never go away ever. That was how this was ending and I made my peace there in the Meadow where it all began. Talking to the Stars and the open beauty there I made my Peace. The Meadow remained to be a place of Love and a place of her and when the Lion and the Lamb found peace to co exist they could be together. Suddenly this moment came to peace and so I could now leave. Love existing outside the realm of time and personal exchanges becomes a memory and we then can bear the loss and we can move forward. Peace was here and so was love and now ….it was Quiet.

The Meadow left me a sign….a hush of calm and a Star shone down and a flashing comet moved swiftly across the heavens at that moment and out of sight. Bella was gone now and the Meadow was as if it was before we met. Quiet and peaceful and beautiful and calm. The Meadow of Love…..was quiet now…and so was my pain….peace was here. Beauty in the darkness of the soul and the mind giving solitude and knowing I was alone again. The Meadow was forever with me and the moments of that Love….Eternally so…the Lion was grateful….the Lamb was safe and gone and the Meadow was in its Hush.  /l_32ej1PspQ

The Death of the Meadow was in peace now and Love was quiet…empty as the night and calm night…void of sunlight but bathed in the night sky…Lover was quiet and the Meadow beat the heartbeat of that moment…Silence of the Night and Peace.

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra booksbyroshandra Beta Editor, Rose Cruz, thank you, Fan Fiction


	5. Chapter 5

The Forest of Edward's Mind

Story by Roshandra Mitchell Simon

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra booksbyroshandra Beta Editor, Rose Cruz, thank you, Fan Fiction

Chapter 7

The Phone call

As soon as 'I' entered back into our family Cullen house I knew the phone call was from Jacob and Carlisle handed me the phone.

Jacob's phone call ripped through me as I figured it would. Thanking me but telling me it made it all worse. He was mad at me too as he got what he wanted. He got Bella…but for me to let Bella go meant he did not want me to upset her anymore. She was miserable…breaking things all the time and her fits of anger he was dealing with. But better then the first time which her depressive mood almost killed her and jumping into adrenalin highs or jumping off the cliff. Jacob threw a litany of sentences at me and somehow I barely heard a word. He was mad sure, but he was dealing with it. He was upset I went off to Rio too and he wanted to be clear the boundaries of not going back to Bella stay clear. Somehow the conversation he was having with me brought the reality that this mess was how it was. Not saying a word, there was a sense that none needed to be added nor to argue with Jacob. He too had a price to pay on what he wanted and why he wanted to be with Bella. Then the line went quiet? Jacob hung up on his end and I knew he got this'off his chest' what he had to say. I handed the phone back to Carlisle.

"You ok son? Anything Jacob said you need to talk about?"

"Carlisle, it's fine. Jacob is just venting on his anger and I get why too. Nothing more to add or say or argue on this . It's all just time for it to move along and be fine now."

Carlisle looked at me and a sigh and calmness of his professional demeanor washed over me. He understood us all and his never ending caring for us as his family and his paternal wisdom. Carlisle understood what I 'gave up' and that there was only acceptance now and moving on. He patted my shoulder and it was fine. As it needs to be and this moving from Fork's now was the plan and a change of locations.

Heading back up the stairs to me desolation of a room, that doorway was like a black hole to the darkest of times and the best of times. The shambles she left my room in was how she felt. The first time I brought her into my room brought trepidation and yet the first female ever to be in my personal space that I loved. Now all I saw was the devastation of what happens when love fails both the lover and the beloved. She had sledge hammered that bed till the iron metal rods where twisted and bent and a convoluted maize of Twister. How could someone so small and so fragile and so human do so much destruction in my room? This is where I proposed to her to marry me and this is where she finally said YES. This is where I asked her to be with me and let me love her every day of Forever. Nothing looked the same in the wake of this mess. Life crashed in on me and I braced myself for beginning a new part of life without her. She was going to haunt me I knew this. I have only my thoughts and she would always be there in my mind. My heart was hers and forever so but my mind needed that peace again so I could endure this. The Meadow had to come with me. The Lion needed the lamb's peace and it's quiet. Just like the small fawn that I saw during my hunt. The gentleness of the fawn and its vulnerability made the Lion want to protect it.

The room was totaled. Her anger she felt all the way thru herself and she left the ring…..reaching for it…I would take my Mother's Ring and put all thoughts of marrying her aside and all thoughts of this Love. Haunt me she would but life had to move on. Turning to leave the room and not touch a thing all that was necessary now was moving out of Forks.

The piano downstairs called me. Esmee was packing up stairs. The mess was cleaned up in the house by Rose and Emmett. They were helping and it was all in order quickly again. My family loved me. My siblings and this family Carlisle created for us. All of us he loved and our mother Esme.

I sat down at the piano and music began to flow and Esmee' was there calming her son further.

"Edward, things have a plan in life. Even the life of those of our kind. Son just play and tomorrow we are leaving at sunset and we all love you Edward more then you know and Bella this time will be fine."

In my mind of course I could agree with Esme. Yes, this time Bella would be fine. The word 'fine' was going to be how we all described this and myself now. Fine. Life as one might call it would be 'fine'. The music began to flow and a new melody came thru me. The keys found itself and then a flash. The jaguar teeth in my pocket and the engagement ring there too. New and Old symbols with me and the music washed over me. I began to lose myself the melody and the music.

Alice entered the living room and walked over to us and then a shreek and a gasp.

"Edward who is the girl with Green eyes?"

Chills ran thru me and the music kept flowing. Esme tensed up and Alice asked again.

Her Eyes where piercing through the fog of my mind and yet it was calming me and focusing me and her as her 'eyes' were watching me. The Music flowing I thought was my pain and loss. The calming of all the emotions and the music played through me and her eyes where there?

"Alice what are you talking about?"

"Edward I KNOW what I SEE!" Before I knew it a new melody was written and the music of the rain forest washed over me and the jaguars and Libera. (SONG HERE to be ADDED)

"Edward you met a girl with green eyes and she is thinking of you right now so strongly that I am feeling a headache!" Then I stopped and I turned from the keyboard and looked at Alice.

"Alice I don't know who she is and saw her only once during my hunt. She is not important. Alice let it be…".

"Edward, I feel her so strongly and you need to grow up. Wait….Edward she is there…she is watching you …she made an impression on you and she imprinted with you for some reason. Who is she?"

"Alice, I don't know who she is but she helped me when the jaguars attacked me. I could have bleed out too and she helped me stop the bleeding with some plant herbs she put on the wounds. She is a mystery to me too and even why she showed up there in the hunt in Rio rain forest. Let it be Alice, please."

Then the music changed. The Green eyes where gone and the music went heavy and sad. /GjDEGoDCh9I

My fingers flowed over the keyboards but with a different feeling. The song of Heavy in my Arms was my feelings and how my heart felt now. Alice stepped away. I felt Jasper come into the room. Esme stepped back. Carlisle came downstairs and I felt it. The IRON BALL came breaking through the room and I turned as my fingers kept playing the melody and SMASHED Ripping into me. The moment I first took in Bella's scent in school that day. The moment I first knew I loved her. The moment I wanted it all for myself. Her love and her and all of her. My DRUG. I needed my drug now. My Fingers played on and my family knew my pain as it poured out. The IRON Ball was swinging back to hit me again. My Own pit and my pendulum of time. Eternal time my world lived in. Time that never ends. Time that goes on and on. This pain was always there. It left me to be alone in this pain. I was being wrecked by the BALL and the melody of it all poured out of my fingers into the keyboard and then….Quiet…..

Alice quietly left the living room. Esme shuddered knowing the depth of my pain now. Jasper walked over to me calmly and Carlisle too. Emmett said nothing and stood there. This heart was wrecked in this part of me that had no light in it. I could only look down at the keyboard shaking in pain and the release this was doing. Then I felt a hand on my back and a word.

"Edward, we all carry our burdens and pains. You will weather this son. You are stronger then you know you are and you are not alone. We move now and a new location will aid you and working now. Figure out what you want to do now with your life Edward. Create something for your mind to busy itself with. Then it will be easier and it will pass. I know it will never ever be gone but it will be bearable. Son even our kind prays."

The beating in my chest subsided and the passion settled off in me. My fingers lifted off the keyboard. The darkness of my soul if this is true I had one, I touched upon and into. A well of darkness and loneliness and unspoken pain. She had filled that well up when she flashed across my night sky and the moment of her entering my life and my sight. Hours watching her sleep at night and trying to enter the thoughts of her mind I could only hear my own thoughts on her and I struggled with that. My own thoughts and this creature that was like a magnet and flame of light. She was my Juliette and I was helplessly her Romeo. I was her Heathcliff and she was …stop Edward stop..you are torturing yourself…stop..I needed to not think in terms of love stories and star crossed lovers. I was helplessly and totally in Love with her Forever and then some. This love cannot be written nor talked about or discussed…this is the kind of love that tears the lovers apart and ruins them for eternity. What kind of fate and joke was this of the 'gods'….I made my decision and for the right reasons. I was not going to change Bella nor allow Carlisle to do so or Alice. I was taking responsibility for this matter and being wise on this. I never expected this kind of LOVE to enter my life and be such a Juliette for me. I wanted to protect and keep her safe eternally. I was the harm of the worst kind and so this is my penance for the way I was. I was the monster and she the lamb. We lived in different worlds. Carlisle touched my shoulder again and I came back to the reality of the house, the piano, and the pain ceased to wreck me further. Quiet again and in the dark but quiet.

"Edward, son, come to my office when you finish and I wish to speak to you privately. Ok..come upstairs."

My thoughts lessened on things and my fingers ached for her in my arms again. Esme returned and quietly brushed her fingers thru my hair. Alice came back and this time her mind was quiet too. Jasper was near calming all the emotions. I was grateful he was there and I realized he removed the wrecking ball and the atmosphere was again peaceful. I was grateful for his gifts of helping emotional calm. Taking in a deep breath I turned and got up and went upstairs to see what Carlisle wanted to say to me. I was resided again to stay to my own self and moods. As I was this way before her and I could muster the strength to do that again. Carlisle was wise and I would listen now.

"Edward, sit, please sit down and just hear me out, son. You are not alone Edward. None of us are alone. Even if you do not believe my views on this, I know none of us, even our kind, walk this earth alone. We have spiritual beings with us and angels if you will. God never gives us anything we cannot handle and gives us help and strength to endure those hard challenges. I know the love between you both was not what you planned nor was the problem. I am part of the problem as I 'turned you' and did so I am part of why you are alone. That though is part of how our kind is. I have made my peace with how this family happened. You where not going to live Edward. Your mother as you knew wanted you to live for a special reason and she gave that request to me as her last dying wish. I was lonely for a companion and I felt in some way I could help you too. None of us are of the other kind that merely lust and destroy. Our family has a heart. Edward when we saw your heart open finally and your music for Bella and all you felt we were endlessly happy. Esme too felt this would work its way out and we want you to stop beating yourself up or making this harder for yourself. Since you chose to not allow Bella her wish of changing and being like you and us that is your decision. We all support that Edward and though some agree and some are not in agreement we agree to accept this.

Edward, now for you, you must not lament or brood on this as it will serve you no good. Our kind is most unique in that if you are deeply wounded as this is in your sensitive side of how you are, this could destroy you or your mind Edward. You need to see the mental balance is essential and you cannot go into that without knowing this. You are MOST LOVED. Love never comes into one's life to harm one but there are prices and lessons. You are loved deeply and cared for by this family and by me as head of our family. You are not alone son. If your decision was a wise one you will find Peace in it and Healing."

Then it washed over me. This is what the angel had told me. The torment I was feeling and pain was not allowing me to be all right with this decision I made for all the right reasons. This is the angel that came to me in the Chapel in Rio. I looked up then at Carlisle and my words found its way to speak.

"Carlisle, I exist because I AM."

"Edward that is DECARTES'….his philosophy on existance and being… yes?"

"Carlisle, I exist because Bella saved me in Volturi. I exist because my mother wanted me to live. I exist because this girl in the jungle helped me from the jaguars. I exist because Bella's love took me out of Volterrea. I exit because I have a family around me that truly does love me. I exist because I AM."

"Edward you are so much more my son than even you know. What you are speaking of is a belief that the existance of God is within you and that is why you are living and exist. Edward you will be ok now son. Bella Awakened you through her Love and your own LOVE of such a person. It's beyond death son. It's what I believe when I have often said our kind does not need to be cruel nor inhuman. We are all part of the living fabric of something great that is what I call God. It if is Philosophy that gets you through this, then so be it. If it is your music then so be it, play, compose and flow. If it is creating a business and our move then so be it. Keep the mind occupied and don't lose your perspective son. It's going to be fine Edward and I believe you have a perspective on this and how I see this also. I won't have Esme worried about you either Edward. But I know now we do have a meeting of the minds and of the substance of existence. Each life is important to the Creation of what we each are. If the life is lived in crime and desolation that life is still important I am sure to God. But a life lived with awareness and with challenge and with knowing is a life that is a gift. Edward you have many gifts and among them is 'feeling so deeply with a soul you say you do not have'…I always disagreed with you on that son. I also see a man in the becoming due to this struggle you go through and are in often. You have a 'gift' of intelligence and of mind and of hearing others thoughts. Son you came to me already very blessed and gifted. Being our kind you can use those gifts to help others and humanity if you wish. You will find love again Edward as this was an opening for you and that is a gift. Heal yes of course, time will aid that as time does that. I believe son we are having a meeting of the minds and our hearts as men and of you my son, I most love you and you know this."

Always Carlisle had a way and his wisdom and compassion always spoke. My heaviness lifted and so did my mood. I stood up and went to shake his hand and he pulled me into a Hug and patted my back with caring compassion and his strength of knowing. Our conversation in the privacy of his office was done.

I would not upset my mother Esme, his wife with any of my moods. I would resume my sibling place and not argue even with Alice. I would figure out my work and enter into some kind of enterprising and Business now and we would all move to a new terrain and climate and misty fog landscape. Life was resuming a sense of order and purpose and routine and I knew my place in that. Walking out of his office I passed down the high school graduation caps and knew I would never go back to high school again. No more needing to play the 17 year old or matriculating thru that maize. In some way this was my graduation into manhood. I was still a virgin and maybe I needed to address that too and find a partner to experience that with. After all I was the one always trying to make sure Bella went through all her growing up experiences like the prom and all of it. I was really no different. That talk with Carlisle was about my maturing more emotionally and with the decision I made to grow up more in myself and adapt to that. The high school caps all neatly in a row in the huge wall hanging art. framed. Well now this structure was changing and a new way of life in a new region would serve for the more mature part of my life now. It is all part of growing up and evolution. Even our kind has to adapt and make changes. As Victorian as my era and time from where I came from was part of me and my ways, I also knew I had to now move into the world and enterprise and put my mind to good use. The subject of graduation into the world was pressing and yet a doorway out of one group of Trees and this Forest in Forks and into a larger world of where this would take me now. Trees seemed to be necessary and I liked the quiet I felt in the hush of hunting and in the time of being in the canopy of the Forest. Trees it would be. In Some Way TREES would become my Business and my Enterprise. 

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra booksbyroshandra Beta Editor, Rose Cruz, thank you, Fan Fiction


	6. Chapter 6

**The Forest of Edward's Mind**

**Story by Roshandra Mitchell Simon**

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra booksbyroshandra Beta Editor, Rose Cruz, thank you, Fan Fiction

**Chapter 7**

**The Phone call**

As soon as 'I' entered back into our family Cullen house I knew the phone call was from Jacob and Carlisle handed me the phone.

Jacob's phone call ripped through me as I figured it would. Thanking me but telling me it made it all worse. He was mad at me too as he got what he wanted. He got Bella…but for me to let Bella go meant he did not want me to upset her anymore. She was miserable…breaking things all the time and her fits of anger he was dealing with. But better then the first time which her depressive mood almost killed her and jumping into adrenalin highs or jumping off the cliff. Jacob threw a litany of sentences at me and somehow I barely heard a word. He was mad sure, but he was dealing with it. He was upset I went off to Rio too and he wanted to be clear the boundaries of not going back to Bella stay clear. Somehow the conversation he was having with me brought the reality that this mess was how it was. Not saying a word, there was a sense that none needed to be added nor to argue with Jacob. He too had a price to pay on what he wanted and why he wanted to be with Bella. Then the line went quiet? Jacob hung up on his end and I knew he got this'off his chest' what he had to say. I handed the phone back to Carlisle.

"You ok son? Anything Jacob said you need to talk about?"

"Carlisle, it's fine. Jacob is just venting on his anger and I get why too. Nothing more to add or say or argue on this . It's all just time for it to move along and be fine now."

Carlisle looked at me and a sigh and calmness of his professional demeanor washed over me. He understood us all and his never ending caring for us as his family and his paternal wisdom. Carlisle understood what I 'gave up' and that there was only acceptance now and moving on. He patted my shoulder and it was fine. As it needs to be and this moving from Fork's now was the plan and a change of locations.

Heading back up the stairs to me desolation of a room, that doorway was like a black hole to the darkest of times and the best of times. The shambles she left my room in was how she felt. The first time I brought her into my room brought trepidation and yet the first female ever to be in my personal space that I loved. Now all I saw was the devastation of what happens when love fails both the lover and the beloved. She had sledge hammered that bed till the iron metal rods where twisted and bent and a convoluted maize of Twister. How could someone so small and so fragile and so human do so much destruction in my room? This is where I proposed to her to marry me and this is where she finally said YES. This is where I asked her to be with me and let me love her every day of Forever. Nothing looked the same in the wake of this mess. Life crashed in on me and I braced myself for beginning a new part of life without her. She was going to haunt me I knew this. I have only my thoughts and she would always be there in my mind. My heart was hers and forever so but my mind needed that peace again so I could endure this. The Meadow had to come with me. The Lion needed the lamb's peace and it's quiet. Just like the small fawn that I saw during my hunt. The gentleness of the fawn and its vulnerability made the Lion want to protect it.

The room was totaled. Her anger she felt all the way thru herself and she left the ring…..reaching for it…I would take my Mother's Ring and put all thoughts of marrying her aside and all thoughts of this Love. Haunt me she would but life had to move on. Turning to leave the room and not touch a thing all that was necessary now was moving out of Forks.

The piano downstairs called me. Esmee was packing up stairs. The mess was cleaned up in the house by Rose and Emmett. They were helping and it was all in order quickly again. My family loved me. My siblings and this family Carlisle created for us. All of us he loved and our mother Esme.

I sat down at the piano and music began to flow and Esmee' was there calming her son further.

"Edward, things have a plan in life. Even the life of those of our kind. Son just play and tomorrow we are leaving at sunset and we all love you Edward more then you know and Bella this time will be fine."

In my mind of course I could agree with Esme. Yes, this time Bella would be fine. The word 'fine' was going to be how we all described this and myself now. Fine. Life as one might call it would be 'fine'. The music began to flow and a new melody came thru me. The keys found itself and then a flash. The jaguar teeth in my pocket and the engagement ring there too. New and Old symbols with me and the music washed over me. I began to lose myself the melody and the music.

Alice entered the living room and walked over to us and then a shreek and a gasp.

"Edward who is the girl with Green eyes?"

Chills ran thru me and the music kept flowing. Esme tensed up and Alice asked again.

Her Eyes where piercing through the fog of my mind and yet it was calming me and focusing me and her as her 'eyes' were watching me. The Music flowing I thought was my pain and loss. The calming of all the emotions and the music played through me and her eyes where there?

"Alice what are you talking about?"

"Edward I KNOW what I SEE!" Before I knew it a new melody was written and the music of the rain forest washed over me and the jaguars and Libera. (SONG HERE to be ADDED)

"Edward you met a girl with green eyes and she is thinking of you right now so strongly that I am feeling a headache!" Then I stopped and I turned from the keyboard and looked at Alice.

"Alice I don't know who she is and saw her only once during my hunt. She is not important. Alice let it be…".

"Edward, I feel her so strongly and you need to grow up. Wait….Edward she is there…she is watching you …she made an impression on you and she imprinted with you for some reason. Who is she?"

"Alice, I don't know who she is but she helped me when the jaguars attacked me. I could have bleed out too and she helped me stop the bleeding with some plant herbs she put on the wounds. She is a mystery to me too and even why she showed up there in the hunt in Rio rain forest. Let it be Alice, please."

Then the music changed. The Green eyes where gone and the music went heavy and sad. /GjDEGoDCh9I

My fingers flowed over the keyboards but with a different feeling. The song of Heavy in my Arms was my feelings and how my heart felt now. Alice stepped away. I felt Jasper come into the room. Esme stepped back. Carlisle came downstairs and I felt it. The IRON BALL came breaking through the room and I turned as my fingers kept playing the melody and SMASHED Ripping into me. The moment I first took in Bella's scent in school that day. The moment I first knew I loved her. The moment I wanted it all for myself. Her love and her and all of her. My DRUG. I needed my drug now. My Fingers played on and my family knew my pain as it poured out. The IRON Ball was swinging back to hit me again. My Own pit and my pendulum of time. Eternal time my world lived in. Time that never ends. Time that goes on and on. This pain was always there. It left me to be alone in this pain. I was being wrecked by the BALL and the melody of it all poured out of my fingers into the keyboard and then….Quiet…..

Alice quietly left the living room. Esme shuddered knowing the depth of my pain now. Jasper walked over to me calmly and Carlisle too. Emmett said nothing and stood there. This heart was wrecked in this part of me that had no light in it. I could only look down at the keyboard shaking in pain and the release this was doing. Then I felt a hand on my back and a word.

"Edward, we all carry our burdens and pains. You will weather this son. You are stronger then you know you are and you are not alone. We move now and a new location will aid you and working now. Figure out what you want to do now with your life Edward. Create something for your mind to busy itself with. Then it will be easier and it will pass. I know it will never ever be gone but it will be bearable. Son even our kind prays."

The beating in my chest subsided and the passion settled off in me. My fingers lifted off the keyboard. The darkness of my soul if this is true I had one, I touched upon and into. A well of darkness and loneliness and unspoken pain. She had filled that well up when she flashed across my night sky and the moment of her entering my life and my sight. Hours watching her sleep at night and trying to enter the thoughts of her mind I could only hear my own thoughts on her and I struggled with that. My own thoughts and this creature that was like a magnet and flame of light. She was my Juliette and I was helplessly her Romeo. I was her Heathcliff and she was …stop Edward stop..you are torturing yourself…stop..I needed to not think in terms of love stories and star crossed lovers. I was helplessly and totally in Love with her Forever and then some. This love cannot be written nor talked about or discussed…this is the kind of love that tears the lovers apart and ruins them for eternity. What kind of fate and joke was this of the 'gods'….I made my decision and for the right reasons. I was not going to change Bella nor allow Carlisle to do so or Alice. I was taking responsibility for this matter and being wise on this. I never expected this kind of LOVE to enter my life and be such a Juliette for me. I wanted to protect and keep her safe eternally. I was the harm of the worst kind and so this is my penance for the way I was. I was the monster and she the lamb. We lived in different worlds. Carlisle touched my shoulder again and I came back to the reality of the house, the piano, and the pain ceased to wreck me further. Quiet again and in the dark but quiet.

"Edward, son, come to my office when you finish and I wish to speak to you privately. Ok..come upstairs."

My thoughts lessened on things and my fingers ached for her in my arms again. Esme returned and quietly brushed her fingers thru my hair. Alice came back and this time her mind was quiet too. Jasper was near calming all the emotions. I was grateful he was there and I realized he removed the wrecking ball and the atmosphere was again peaceful. I was grateful for his gifts of helping emotional calm. Taking in a deep breath I turned and got up and went upstairs to see what Carlisle wanted to say to me. I was resided again to stay to my own self and moods. As I was this way before her and I could muster the strength to do that again. Carlisle was wise and I would listen now.

"Edward, sit, please sit down and just hear me out, son. You are not alone Edward. None of us are alone. Even if you do not believe my views on this, I know none of us, even our kind, walk this earth alone. We have spiritual beings with us and angels if you will. God never gives us anything we cannot handle and gives us help and strength to endure those hard challenges. I know the love between you both was not what you planned nor was the problem. I am part of the problem as I 'turned you' and did so I am part of why you are alone. That though is part of how our kind is. I have made my peace with how this family happened. You where not going to live Edward. Your mother as you knew wanted you to live for a special reason and she gave that request to me as her last dying wish. I was lonely for a companion and I felt in some way I could help you too. None of us are of the other kind that merely lust and destroy. Our family has a heart. Edward when we saw your heart open finally and your music for Bella and all you felt we were endlessly happy. Esme too felt this would work its way out and we want you to stop beating yourself up or making this harder for yourself. Since you chose to not allow Bella her wish of changing and being like you and us that is your decision. We all support that Edward and though some agree and some are not in agreement we agree to accept this.

Edward, now for you, you must not lament or brood on this as it will serve you no good. Our kind is most unique in that if you are deeply wounded as this is in your sensitive side of how you are, this could destroy you or your mind Edward. You need to see the mental balance is essential and you cannot go into that without knowing this. You are MOST LOVED. Love never comes into one's life to harm one but there are prices and lessons. You are loved deeply and cared for by this family and by me as head of our family. You are not alone son. If your decision was a wise one you will find Peace in it and Healing."

Then it washed over me. This is what the angel had told me. The torment I was feeling and pain was not allowing me to be all right with this decision I made for all the right reasons. This is the angel that came to me in the Chapel in Rio. I looked up then at Carlisle and my words found its way to speak.

"Carlisle, I exist because I AM."

"Edward that is DECARTES'….his philosophy on existance and being… yes?"

"Carlisle, I exist because Bella saved me in Volturi. I exist because my mother wanted me to live. I exist because this girl in the jungle helped me from the jaguars. I exist because Bella's love took me out of Volterrea. I exit because I have a family around me that truly does love me. I exist because I AM."

"Edward you are so much more my son than even you know. What you are speaking of is a belief that the existance of God is within you and that is why you are living and exist. Edward you will be ok now son. Bella Awakened you through her Love and your own LOVE of such a person. It's beyond death son. It's what I believe when I have often said our kind does not need to be cruel nor inhuman. We are all part of the living fabric of something great that is what I call God. It if is Philosophy that gets you through this, then so be it. If it is your music then so be it, play, compose and flow. If it is creating a business and our move then so be it. Keep the mind occupied and don't lose your perspective son. It's going to be fine Edward and I believe you have a perspective on this and how I see this also. I won't have Esme worried about you either Edward. But I know now we do have a meeting of the minds and of the substance of existence. Each life is important to the Creation of what we each are. If the life is lived in crime and desolation that life is still important I am sure to God. But a life lived with awareness and with challenge and with knowing is a life that is a gift. Edward you have many gifts and among them is 'feeling so deeply with a soul you say you do not have'…I always disagreed with you on that son. I also see a man in the becoming due to this struggle you go through and are in often. You have a 'gift' of intelligence and of mind and of hearing others thoughts. Son you came to me already very blessed and gifted. Being our kind you can use those gifts to help others and humanity if you wish. You will find love again Edward as this was an opening for you and that is a gift. Heal yes of course, time will aid that as time does that. I believe son we are having a meeting of the minds and our hearts as men and of you my son, I most love you and you know this."

Always Carlisle had a way and his wisdom and compassion always spoke. My heaviness lifted and so did my mood. I stood up and went to shake his hand and he pulled me into a Hug and patted my back with caring compassion and his strength of knowing. Our conversation in the privacy of his office was done.

I would not upset my mother Esme, his wife with any of my moods. I would resume my sibling place and not argue even with Alice. I would figure out my work and enter into some kind of enterprising and Business now and we would all move to a new terrain and climate and misty fog landscape. Life was resuming a sense of order and purpose and routine and I knew my place in that. Walking out of his office I passed down the high school graduation caps and knew I would never go back to high school again. No more needing to play the 17 year old or matriculating thru that maize. In some way this was my graduation into manhood. I was still a virgin and maybe I needed to address that too and find a partner to experience that with. After all I was the one always trying to make sure Bella went through all her growing up experiences like the prom and all of it. I was really no different. That talk with Carlisle was about my maturing more emotionally and with the decision I made to grow up more in myself and adapt to that. The high school caps all neatly in a row in the huge wall hanging art. framed. Well now this structure was changing and a new way of life in a new region would serve for the more mature part of my life now. It is all part of growing up and evolution. Even our kind has to adapt and make changes. As Victorian as my era and time from where I came from was part of me and my ways, I also knew I had to now move into the world and enterprise and put my mind to good use. The subject of graduation into the world was pressing and yet a doorway out of one group of Trees and this Forest in Forks and into a larger world of where this would take me now. Trees seemed to be necessary and I liked the quiet I felt in the hush of hunting and in the time of being in the canopy of the Forest. Trees it would be. In Some Way TREES would become my Business and my Enterprise.

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra booksbyroshandra

Beta Editor, Rose Cruz, thank you, Fan Fiction


	7. Chapter 7

**The Forest of Edward's Mind**

**Story by Roshandra Mitchell Simon**

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra booksbyroshandra Beta Editor, Rose Cruz, thank you, Fan Fiction

**Chapter 9**

**Cullen's to Boston and the Gate to England**

Carlisle was looking for me as I gently turned onto the main road and off our private drive from our home. My thoughts new his thoughts and I knew that patiently they waited for me till we all were there now and ready. Carlisle asked me in his thoughts how I was holding up and my heart ached but Bella's scent around me in my car was making it all bearable now.

"_Carlisle it's ok. Let's get on with this. Alice is impatient and I am ready for my new chapter of my life and I have been clear with all of you and ready. Alice, can you see if we are safe to go? Everything seems complete now."_

"_Edward, it is all clear and we were just waiting for you. Edward, I get it. I am not as upset with you as earlier but I get it now."_

"_Jasper, thank you man, keeping things calm around me has helped and it's bearable now."_ I could see Jasper nod and knew we were done here now and the Trees would canopy the rest of my feelings and the forest would remain in silence and my sentinel of all that happened.

The passage out of the forest was only with quiet and our headlights from the cars. It was as if this part of my life and all the memories held me together. That and her scent in my car. The new shinny silver Volvo was left and devoid of anything of Bella. The prom car carried me and leaving with some part of her with me. My thoughts were flooding in on Bella again and I could feel myself choking up. How strong are you Edward and don't let the pain get to you. Drive and breathe her in. Your drug is with you and just focus on the road and the trip that is taking you to a new part of life. The heart though once opened as it did with her and that love will never be the same. The Heart though was Her Heart in you and so let her be there always inside Edward and no one needs to know. Just keep her there in your heart. Then I felt my foot on the acceleration peddle steady myself and then it was breathable.

We drove and it was close to midnight and my thoughts took over as I figured they would.

Rio was a blur and yet it was speaking to me in flashes. Bella I could not think on but just continue to draw in her scent in my car. That was numbing all the pain I was hiding and giving me breathing room. In front of us was a three day mad race as only vampires could do across country. Most of the ride would be flashes of fast moving cars and Alice seeing it was safe. Gas time for the stops was all we needed and we had decided no hunting till we came to Boston. The forest there would give us what we needed once we arrived at our second house there. Carlisle and Esme liked to keep a house there. I had gone to college there and I liked the city of Boston a lot. Resme found a home there with five acres of woods behind it and a river behind it. We had forest and trees there so we could privately hunt there and no one knew of our needs. The house served us well even though it was in a neighborhood of very nice human beings. Carlisle worked there in the city at the hospital so he was well connected and respected in the area. Our once in a while showing up there and going was not strange then. Most just saw Carlisle and the Cullen family as wealthy and eccentric. Massachusetts winters did suit us and its lifestyle there did fit us well. We seemed to fit in and could manage a few winter months there ever so often. Esme had called ahead to get her house in order for us arriving. The house suited us well but not like the home in Forks.

Our family Home in Forks was a dream home of beautiful woods and forest and design that was open and with light. This home in Cohasset, Massachusetts was more of wood and forest but glass only on the back garden outside wall. Our privacy was guarded there and folks would not ever know we were home but for a few lights on and cars all garaged. We would be arriving in silence and then rest and hunt and discuss our trip to England then.

Carlisle had some business in Boston with the hospital and I was sure setting up his new Medical contacts in London. Esme was going to look at properties with an agent on line in Boston. This way we would be moving into a location that we felt was known and she could remodel even while we lived there. Esme loved to remodel and Carslisle loved to buy her new or old homes. They were a wonderful couple and for sure still and always concerned over each of us and our family unit. We all fit so well and yet so different for our kind. This was all due to our father Carlisle. Esme as our mother made our family a home.

Thoughts of my siblings came in and off my mind and hearing them I would smile. Rose and Emmett were in their own world and driving fast. Jasper and Alice lovingly so and how these two matched and fit together was for sure a destiny for them to find and meet there love. I smiled

I was missing my other half but then my other half was set 'free'. I sighed. Then felt Alice tune in on me and realized I need to shut up and keep my thoughts on the road and journey. No need to worry my siblings or family. Jasper now was tuning into me also and I could feel us merging into the unity of a group family. No secrets and all thoughts heard. Funny as this is how it was for Jacob and his pack.

Then lights and I noticed Carlisle turning off the road and putting his head lights off. We drove in the dark and since we could 'see' without head lamp needs' it aided us on our travel to not be seen. Now though we had to fill up and back to our appearing normal. Gas up the cars and then back on the fast road.

It was moving well and Forks and Bella was getting further behind me now. That made me sigh again.

"_Son, half way there now and are you doing ok? Carlisle's thoughts came to me."_

I nodded and he felt that was enough said.

Our cars pulled out and one by one we moved into high speed and no headlamps on. Alice had looked ahead and it seemed clear and no reason for slowing down or being concerned. We drove on and would stop a few more times but Boston and the house was in our Plans.

Carlisle felt we should come in from Concord and stop at the Inn. Get back into the location and dine out and if any of us needed to hunt right then we could jaunt off there for game. Forest in Massachusetts was abundant with deer. So were the Spirits of the American Revolution strong there and the ghosts of the past. Concord was special. Cemeteries and Inns and the feeling of the battle that went on there and between Lexington remained in the ethers of this location. This was also the location of the Transcendental writers of Louisa May Alcott, Hawthorne, Emerson, and Thoreau. Even their graves carried a mist that reminded you that various times there in Concord held a history that others felt and some saw. Our first point of connecting back in there was going to be Concord.

My thoughts brought her face to me and I began to fight it off. Strangely though, I felt her presence of her spirit in my car. This was not just Bella's scent but her spirit. Then something larger was being felt. The Angel from the chapel seemed to flash before me now. Then Bella's face and I felt a change in the air. Suddenly high school was a long distant past. Suddenly Rio was washing over me. Music began to be heard. Perplexing this was. Then her face changed into a smile and I saw her hand go forward to a door and she turned the knob. I saw Bella walk into a room with light and then obliterated my view. Then the Angel washed over my thoughts again.

'_Edward, stop thinking about her. Bella is fine. You set her free, remember?_ "Then it was gone and angel too. Thank goodness I thought.

There was the Inn and I saw my family all pulling into the parking lot and I took a breath in and felt my mood shift. Alice was at my car door and her smile greeted me. We were going to dine and have some wine and talk. This seemed a nice way to come into the East Coast now and the change for our moving.

The Concord Inn was steeped in history and the Revolution war and the ghosts of those that fought there and seemed to remain here in the ethers of this region. I was relieved now we could be out of the cars and the traveling. The architecture in this part of the United States held a feeling of the past. The Founding Fathers and the fight for freedom was part of this fabric here. Going to England was a logical step for us all and a new environment to begin this new chapter of all our lives. Carlisle held the main entrance door open as I knew Esme was enjoying the details of this old building. We had no reservations but clearly there was space and our presence always affected people to be sure to seat us and handle things as if we were celebrities. Vampires have that space of importance around us and it does come in handy when you need a table at a crowded popular dining spot. We were aware of this clearly so.

Carlisle ordered a very expensive wine to celebrate this part of the journey. Everyone ordered meat and bloody rare. That would serve and I could feel Emmett needed to go hunt and Rose too. Jasper always needed to hunt but he was fine and Alice was fine too. Carlisle always could go the longest of us and I no longer struggle with this now. Year ago I did and meeting Bella was the hardest part of this. Then it was as if her Scent was the only drug I found necessary and no longer wanted to have her blood. Just being next to her and around her scent pacified me and kept me wanting but relishing her. At that crucial point suddenly it was just so clear to me that I could manage her scent and found solace in just being near. My mind was thanking this and her scent that was in the car I drove. I was so grateful she did not touch this car. The Volvo died of course and was replaced by insurance. Thank goodness her wrath and anger was taken out on the Volvo. I will never forget the vision of the tires being flat and the bent frame. Like the canopy bed and how twisted her anger did to it. So much passion and love in someone so tiny and frail.

We sat there in the Colony designed dining room and the wine was served and the waiter brought our rare steaks and we looked at each other. Carlisle calmly looked at all of us and raised his glass and spoke. "Family, we arrived safely and we will be home tonight and we are all going to find this trip to England to be maybe one of the best new locations to live in. Edward I feel you would like to say or share something, son."

Clearly my thoughts needed to be voiced and I wanted them all to know I was going fine. Something though that I did not expect came out of my mind.

"My heart was left in Forks as you all know and in a way I am still running from all of this. When I went to Rio, I had an experience in the Base of the Statue of the Redeemer of Christ there. I felt the weight of how much I love Bella and I felt that I could not handle this pain. The same way when I first scented Bella, I could not handle that and felt I was going to consume her. I found I was able to somehow manage it and be close to her. So close that all my nights and time had this endless idea of only her. Bella did change me. I am broken but I am with her with me. Rio showed me this. Driving across country my thoughts drifted off and on on her. She's with me in my Heart and I can't explain that to any of you but even in knowing I had to let her go and protect her from being like 'me', I held her in my heart forever. The pain like her scent that drove me crazy for a while, this pain is now bearable. I look at all of you and I know you all understand this about me and loving her. I am ok. I am fine now. The distance helps me. I won't lie to any of you. I am dealing with it and my decision. "

"Edward, son, we all know and we are all fine with your handling this. Son, though don't run from love. Things happen for a reason. Everyone of you in this family has a story and reason why we came together. We are not like others of our kind and it is a testimony that we can live with human beings. Son, we each have had a challenge. I did not choose this life or path but it happened. You know how I feel about each of you. Bella might surprise you Edward but we are all meant to let this be as it is and her choices are her own too. You cannot prevent her life from becoming what she felt it was meant to become."

A chill went thru me as Carlisle spoke that. It was as if he was telling me something I could not fathom myself or see. Inside me though everything wanted to protect Bella even from herself so she would be safe. Everything had to be fine and for the right reasons. Something though the way Carlisle said what he did was like a Chapter with a footnote for me to remember. I could not sink deeper into its meaning but it was as if his wisdom and the angel speaking to me both at the same time. I caught my breath and calmed my thoughts and felt it was best to say nothing more.

We all began to eat and the blood from the meat on the plates was beginning to disappear off the plates. The wine as very good and we all seems at ease now. Carlisle nodded for the check and we all began to feel it was time to finish an drive that short distance now to where the family home was. I got up last and my thoughts resonated with Carlisle's words and that was shaking me some. Something like the Angel again and I was not feeling at peace with my decision. Why would that rivet me or take me into my own unknown factors. _"Let it go Edward, and find your peace. Let it go." _

The four cars pulled out and we all seemed filled with the thirst edge being gone. Now for the few nights in Cohasset, the Cullen's were coming home tonight.

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra booksbyroshandra

Beta Editor, Rose Cruz, thank you, Fan Fiction


	8. Chapter 8

The Forest of Edward's Mind

Story by Roshandra Mitchell Simon

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra booksbyroshandra Beta Editor, Rose Cruz, thank you, Fan Fiction

Chapter Bella POV

Chapter 10, 11, 12

Chapter for Bella Marie Swan

(Isabella Marie Swan)

The day before the wedding he showed up. The moment I saw his face and how he walked towards me I flashed on the talk he had moons ago in the forest for that first break up. Even though that was history and the past the look was the same now. He got out of his car and walked to me with that same serious look on his face that I read and knew this was going to not be good. Nothing he said only his look and reading his face I could see the story was there already. A seriousness that only Edward could carry. I took in a deep breath and braced myself and we walked off to the forest side trail once again. The Trees stood still and this might not be what I hoped for. The day before the wedding some problem from him was coming forth and it was like a shroud of foreboding death. I could taste this bitterness in the saliva of my mouth and wanted to heave. My emotions began to shake me to my core and I pushed if off. I was stronger in myself and whatever he had to talk about it was best to hear him out and face it square on. My head began to race ahead of me thinking all of the possibilities of what he was going to say. Settling on the fact he was not wanting to 'change me' and his thoughts on my losing my soul and my human self to this immortal way of being. I was ready to debate him and face this straight on.

Edward stopped and turned quietly and looked into those chocolate brown pools of warmth and saw her lips drawn tightly holding back whatever her thoughts would spill out and say to him.

My thoughts were repeating to myself to just BREATHE. Breathe in and breathe out and listen to what he had to say.

"Bella, I want tomorrow more than anything in the world. I want you in my life and always with me. I have no doubt on this. What I am fighting with is changing you into this life of endlessness to your human side and your soul. I cannot do this and want to ask you to give this some time and let's wait on this wedding so you can see what you are giving up. Who you are to this and our love has nothing to do with changing you. I LOVE you eternally and toally."

It hit me square on in the chest. The old hole and the inability now to breathe broke the dam wide open now. I doubled up and then the fire rose in me. The Fire as if I changed into a monster of fire breathing venom at my love.

"WHAT? You want me to wait? WHAT postpone this so I will agree to stay human? WHAT? Edward we went thru this discussion. For this is what I WANT. The day before the wedding and you want me to WAIT? No Edward we had an agreement. WE AGREED ! No. Absolutely No Edward. NO."

"Bella this is not just about you. This is about a life you are changing that cannot be reversed back. You cannot change this once this happens. You will live off blood of animals. You will not have babies of your own. You will not be the same. You will be this way and you have a CHOICE. None of us had this choice. None of us wanted to be as we are. Even Carlisle had no choice. We each were changed and myself, Esme, Emmett, and Rose where changed due to our lives dying. You are living and you are not like any of us before this happened. The Moral issue of this goes against all that I am and how I feel about protecting you. I cannot do this or allow you to be like this. So I want to implore you to WAIT and see if we can just love each other. I will give you my promise of a wedding night and marriage and all. I cannot though agree to change you nor allow my family to do this for you. If that is the case then I cannot go thru with this and I want you to know that I must be strong for us both. I love you more than anything and want this to be with you and wish you to stay as you are. Fully human."

My hair was almost standing on end. Fire was pouring out of every pore of my being. Breathing harder then ever imagined I could. Smoke was around my body from the place I stood. Edward could see that I was in such a state of 'anger' that I looked like something he had never seen before. It was as if Olympus had sent down his daughter and she was in a warrior mood and going to take on a vampire. I could see thoughts racing through Edward's mind that in this state I would begin to tear the forest up. I was like a chain saw and ready to cut through him and buzz off his limbs and maybe swing an axe and cut off his head. He was not prepared for someone this small and fragile to be so ferocious like now. I was the Lion and he suddenly looked like the helpless vulnerable Lamb.

"Edward, NO. We talked about this. The Volturi gave you an ultimatum. Alice sees me changing. It's SET. I am getting married tomorrow and this is not going to work. OK. NO. If you do this then I am not GOING TO MARRY YOU. Do you hear me Edward. NO."

"Bella I was afraid this is how you would be on this and I do understand. I cannot allow anyone to change you and I will not either. I will not take away who you are to be as 'we are.' To be how I am. I will not let you be a monster and as much as this pains me to say 'no to you Bella' I must do that and do what I feel is right on this matter."

I drew in a breath. My eyes began to glower in the dusk at Edward. My fists clenched and out of my mouth came my true feelings. My anger went into rage and it was fueled by my fast moving thoughts. 'Fear moved me, hurt and anger and rage. Somehow I managed some self control but inside I was a volcano ready to erupt'

"Edward the day before the wedding you tell me this and no debate on it. You tell me we marry and I get a honeymoon night and no changing me. That's not the agreement. I LOVE you more than my own Life and Breath. My heart tells me it's you. It's always been you. I agreed to marry and let all these plans happen so we could get on with being together fully. I am NOT GOING TO MARRY YOU, this is my Ultimatum. You pull out part of our agreement then the wedding is off. I will not be married to you and age and grow old. I will not give up anything I did not already consider. I am GAINING everything and including you. My LIFE is meant to die anyway. You never saw that. You never saw that all those accidents I have is part of my life to DIE. You are denying me what I am supposed to do. I am not going to marry you and have you protect me from every possible bump or accident. I was to die the first time at school. I was to die ….ohhhhhhhhhh that's it…..that is it…..I have had it with YOU!"

"GET out! Get out of my life NOW. The WEDDING IS OFF. Tell Alice I don't want the dress and all of this it's OFF!"

Quietly and totally ashen Edward turned and walked away. Shaken to his core but strong enough to walk away steps occurred. After all this is what he wanted to do. Get her to break it off. It was Done.

He saved her life and her soul. He quietly walked away every part of him inside was wretching in pain. He walked calmly away.

Bella on the War Path

Stomping all the way to the house I walked into the kitchen. Took in a deep breath and stomped all the way up to my bedroom. There hanging on the back of the door was the Wedding dress and veil and it went into my fire hands and ripped it off the hanger. The dress symbolized my loss of my freedom and yet it was my eternal 'tie' to Edward in marriage and love. The dress did not have a chance. Shreds and tears and rips became the sounds of the dress dying. The veil stood no chance and it was next. Breathing heavier than I did in the forest now the fire breathing dragon I was was going to take apart everything. Yes a fit of temper and yes pain and yes a volcano erupting.

In the window came Jacob and I turned on my heels with pieces of the dress in my hands and shreds of netting of the veil hanging on me too. I was like a savage medusa, a monster gone mad. Jacob took one look at me and then a frozen image of myself tied up in the mess of dress, veil, hurt, anger, pain, rage and then it hit me.

"Jacob why do you think you can JUMP into my private bedroom window? Why did Edward think he could come in thru the window and WATCH me sleep? Why do you think you have the right to jump into my life at this moment?"

Jacob knew I was a female in a rage moment and he dare not say anything stupid. Jacob just looked stunned at the vision of what he saw and he wanted to just reach out to offer his arms of protection and his support and be the safe harbor again for mr. He had no idea why I was shredding my wedding dress and veil but he knew to tread lightly. He also knew that this meant now as his chance with me and he smiled. How to navigate the fall out was not going to be easy as Jacob lacked life experience and female experience. So Jacob did what he did best. The Elephant was in the room in this case one angry female fire breathing dragon. Ask her what happened was his thought and stand out of her way. That seemed the plan so he went with it.

"Bella what did he do this time?"

That's all he had to say. The Can of Worms was open and it was not going to be pretty. It was like watching a train wreck and you could not take your eyes away from the coming litany of what the story was about. Jacob had to 'take the blows of her anger and hurt and not smile too much'. He knew Edward let her go in that sight of the wedding dress and shredded veil. But there on her finger was the engagement ring. So he better tread safely with this monster till it was all official that Edward was history finally.

"Bella, what did he do this time?"

"Jacob get out of my room, get out of my life, this is not the right time. GET OUT!"

Jacob dared to face this head on and took a step towards me as a friend. He walked to my bed and sat down and then he saw my shoulder lessen and I walked over to him. Tears broke loose and he knew this was real this time as I would never give into tears.

"Jacob he won't change me and he won't let his family do this either. He is determined I need to stay human and not enter into his world and the way they are. This is my FAMILY Jacob and my life is there and I can't push him to do this anymore. I BROKE off the wedding and I just destroyed the most beautiful dress and veil that Alice helped me to pick out. I was actually excited about this day and getting married to him. I was ACTUALLY happy about this. Now I won't marry him and I won't let this happen again to me. All that time we talked about what happened the first time. I almost died from my depression and my heart being ripped out of me. He almost died or let himself get killed by the Voulturi. Jacob this is a nightmare and this is not happening to me again!"

"Bella, maybe this is how it's meant to be? Did you ever think on that Bella besides you wanting this so much with him and his family?"

Then I turned to Jacob. My room was a mess of white wedding dress and veil pieces and I was shaking. Tears stopped and I looked at Jacob.

"Jacob, you have always been my 'best friend' and you got me thru things before and to want to be human again. This time you can't help me. This time I need to figure this out on my own and this time I don't want you in my way rescuing me as you want me to CHOSE You."

Jacob winced and felt a knife go into his soul. There was more. She was taking everyone down now and all her past and all of it. Jacob was going to get Bella the wrecking ball. So he took a deep breath for I was working myself up to slug away at him now and he did not see this coming.

"Jacob I don't want second choice."

He froze and he never saw it that way and he saw it as equal only that Edward got there first and held a string to her heart. He never considered himself second choice or his love for her not equal to Edward's.

"Jacob I don't WANT you' the way I WANT him."

It got worse and Jacob stood up. In his mind he knew she was in pain so lashing out at others is often a plan. He knew she was being way too honest with him and this could not be taken back later or change the words once she spoke more. Jacob suddenly felt a primal need to leave and escape and so in a heartbeat he leaped out of the way and the window and to the Woods. He only heard her yelling at him that he was another male chicken and that she never wanted to hear from him again.

Jacob did not consider that was going to be her plan.

Damage control at the Cullen house

I ran downstairs and bolted out the front door to my red truck sitting there. The Body was beat up and run down the way I felt right now also. Then a flash came to me. I needed a tool. Off to Jacob's garage I drove almost out of control on the damp highway. If Jacob was there I was going to make a beeline for a hammer or something as Charlie had no tools at the house. Only guns and I wanted something that would make damage at Edward's home.

Pulling up at the red house no one seemed home. I ran into the garage and saw nothing that equaled my anger. My breathing abated and then it was like the light of heaven or maybe hell opened upon one implement. There it was a Sledge hammer. Beat up and gnarled handle and heavy. Perfect and I reached for it and could not manage it fully. Two hands and the hammer was in my hands now and dragging it to the truck. Perfect I thought perfect. _I could smash up that marble body of my ex boyfriend Edward with this perfectly. Perfect._ And if anyone tried to stop me from breaking off a limb or two on him she would take them on. Emmett too or Jasper. And anyone that got in my way of how I felt and how Edward was going to be the wall I sledged this hammer into. I hoped to shatter him good.

As I drove to the Cullen house my first thought was the black grand piano. Next thought was his room. Then I HOPED one of his cars was in the garage and sitting there. I was at the house in no time not even remembering the road or turn off. I was there in front of the beautiful glass home of the Cullen's. I was there and breathing like my chest would explode. Out of my truck I jumped and Alice met her. Alice's face shook with pain for the love I could feel. Alice I knew could feel my rage and hurt and anger.

"Bella, let's talk and simmer down."

"Alice, NO. Alice the dress is in shreds and veil too. NO. Just stay out of my way!"

Thank goodness no one was home but for Alice and she knew I had to get this out of my system and she did step out of my way hoping I would calm down. In my two hands I dragged the sledge hammer into the house. Alice just watched.

There it was the black grand piano and the song he played for me the first time. One fast swift and crack and breaking ebony wood. The strings and the guts of the piano were being pounded to destruction of the wrecking ball I was. Another swing of the mallet and it was broken fully. The piano stool we sat on together and with one blow broke it in two. The Music he played there with black and white keys bouncing off the mallet gave me a moment of release. Somehow the sounds of my music and smashing this under each blow brought a music of its own. My only thought was destruction and this pain. Anger fueled every blow. Then my mallet stopped. I looked like a helpless fawn for a moment. A fawn with a wish to tear apart the forest and a black piano.

Breathing heavier I went up stairs to his room. Dragging the mallet of destruction with me as I took each step. Alice knew best to leave her little monster of a friend alone. Alice picked up the broken vase of flowers and knew Esme would be disheartened on this mess but knew they could replace the damaged instrument. Edward was going to pay for this one way or the other. He would have to replace the damaged instrument he played and Esme's favorite piece of furniture. Alice hoped no one would come home till Bella managed to finish her moments of destruction. She hoped they did not see more then they needed to. They were all off helping on the wedding and so Alice hit speed dial to Rose.

"Rose the wedding is off. Yeah Edward messed up his little talk he was suppose to have with Bella."

"Have no idea where the chicken ran off to. No idea at all?"

"Yes she is furious and don't tell Esmee she is destroying his things and that means the piano too. Yes I know she loves the piano so go ahead and order a new one so we can correct the shambles our brother has done. Bella has to work this out her own way. Ok Rose? Thank you and see you soon. I know she is a mess and I swear I will kill him myself. Two times he broke this relationship. He needs therapy."

Up the stairs this imp of a Bella dragged that sledge hammer. Alice was helpless to just watch and then she was out of site which meant her destination of Edward's room was in view for Bella. Then the words and the rants and all the explitives and then the ripping sounds. Then books and then the balcony door was being opened. Then things being thrown out the second floor and crashing on the garden concrete out back. Alice had no doubt she was giving Edward's room a full redecorating and redesign. Then quiet. Then Tears. Then pages being ripped. Then an eirry silence? Alice began to walk to the steps to go see and then the sound. The most horrific sound she ever heard. Bella was destroying the iron canopy bed Edward proposed to her on. She heard the echoing of the metal on metal. She heard pounding and pounding and rushes of anger sounds and groans and she heard hammering that sledge hammer like it was a demon she had to destroy. Bella hammered longer then Alice could ever imagine. Then pure silence. Then the sound of the sledge hammer being dragged down the stairs. Then she saw Bella's Face. She looked like she was wiped out from all this emotional rage. Panting heavily she walked to the garage. Alice knew exactly where she was heading and why. She did not stand in her way. The white Barcelona leather chairs called Alice and she walked over to put up her feet and listen to the sounds of what Bella was about to embark on. The wrecking ball was attacking his silver Volvo and he had that one coming. No way was she going to let him have her scent in his car he loved and no way she was going to let him have his memories of high school with her. No way was she going to let him remember their good times and the love. You could hear the windshield shatter. Then metal doors and then more windows. Head lamps and tail lights and then quiet. Then it began again. The hood of the car, the roof and trunk window smashed. Then hissing sounds of the tires. She took the car down fully herself. Alice smiled.

The garage house door opened and there was Bella a mess of hair and sweat and the sledge hammer.

It looked done now. Then her face looked down at her manicured bridal hands and all for the wedding day too. She saw her engagement ring. Alice saw the moment too. She hoped she would not destroy Edward's mother's ring and then the sledge hammer was dragged back up the stairs to Edward's room. No sounds happened. Not one sound. Then tears and then no sounds. Alice wanted to run to her but knew she had to finish this herself and calmly stayed quiet in the living room. Watching Bella in her mind and seeing how much she Loved Edward and how much Edward loved her.

Then Bella walked down the stairs as if a bride released from an agreement and it was her idea now to be free and not look back. No sledge hammer in hand or in tow and clearly no ring on her finger now.

It was done.

Bella had her moment and say. It was done. And Edward was darn lucky not to be there to see this and the mess and havoc her pain created here. At the same time Alice wondered what Edward's room looked like and hoped the ring was spared her wrath and yet she so wanted her friend Bella to be happy and marry her brother. It was done and Bella walking out to her Truck turned and said.

"Alice please tell Esme I am so sorry for this and the mess and please tell your siblings that I am sorry and please tell Edward I never ever want to see him ever again."

"Bella I want to kill Edward and I could do that as we are the same he and I. I want to stop your pain and I want to stay with you through this but I know you had to handle this as you are so important to us all and we all love you so much."

Bella turned to Alice and tears rolled over her bottom eyelids and words found their way out of her mouth. "Alice I LOVE you all so much it tears my heart of my human body. I LOVE Edward so much and I cannot be in my world and not be in HIS WORLD. I cannot live in two worlds. I wanted to be in his world and his family for all the right reasons. He is not allowing me my FATE or my DESTINY. I want to kill Edward for this and for how stubborn he has been and for this LOVE. I am BLEEDING Love and he can't stop how I feel or change how I feel or fix this. I was meant for him and he was meant for me. From the first time I saw him in Forks in the Cafeteria there was only him. This time I am clear. I cannot be this way and die slowly and grow old. He has denied me what I was meant to do. He is who I was meant to be with. I LOVE him and all of you and I can do nothing about it but leave this one moment of my feelings with as destruction. Alice I need to say good bye and I hope we can be friends many years later or how ever Life takes me. Can you promise me to call or contact me if anything happens to Edward? But also promise me if finds a love or marries DON"T TELL ME…that would kill me. But I am going to move my life ahead now and that I must do. Promise me Alice."

"Bella always and please I will contact you if I see the Volturi coming and I will for sure call if for any reason."

"Alice I am going to be with Jacob and go off to college and get my life going as I wanted to go to college and not get married. That was all Edward's idea and need and his Victorian manners and ways. I want to get my degree and go work in the world and do something with that."

Alice handed me a phone and I looked at it.

"Anytime Bella you need anything. Help, money, a friend, a talk, anything just call me. I will always be there for you and I am going to kill Edward for you too but you know how much I love him too and we all do. But Bella we LOVE you and wanted you with us and I still know you will need this time to be with yourself and don't make any foolish decisions or even with Jacob. Ok and promise me to call or write or text often or when you want to."

Bella slide the cell phone Alice gave her into her pocket and you could see her face was exhausted and you could see she was ready to head off the Cullen property and back to her home with Charlie.

Alice hoped the damage was done. At home though Bella had more to do and that meant Charlie's guns. Alice saw more damage coming and she saw Charlie and the police coming to the Cullen home to talk to Edward and saw his anger too. Alice could see Charlie heading to his house first to discover what was going on now.

Bella went right for the gun on the living room wall and up to her bedroom. As she had just gotten into the house Charlie pulled up in his squad car and heard the bullets ring out from the bedroom and flashes of fire. He rushed in with his weapon drawn and there was Bella completing her destruction. She had pictures of Edward and she shot it till his head was no longer there. She had the CD case shot. She had pieces of the veil on the bed and the wedding dress was scattered all over the bedroom floor. She turned to look at her father and had the gun in her hand. Suddenly he thought she might shoot herself and took a deep breath. That was all that was left was to now kill herself he thought. Then he saw her tears welling up.

"Dad, don't let me fall again. Don't let me fall."

"Bells 'never. I will never let you trip or fall." Then it was over and she began to let go and Charlie reached for the gun to take from her hand and she sat back on her bed. He quietly sat down next to her. It was not his way of comforting his only child but he knew he was able to give her the warmth and support and tenderness she needed in that moment came so perfectly a peace.

Charlie would let her rest and say nothing till she talked or till she was ready to go to bed. However long it was he would just be there with her. Something was different this time on this break up and he did not feel she would be depressed. He did not know what happened or how but he was just relieved to know she was ok. He had his own thoughts on heading over to the Cullen's house and facing down Edward but the moment was to be with her and just keep her feeling safe and supported and not to fall. Not a word she spoke and then she began to slide into her covers.

Charlie stood up, and covered Bella over. "Do you want to talk tomorrow or later? Just tell me honey what you want and need."

"Dad, I need to sleep now but it's done now and I won't take him back ever again. I broke off the wedding dad and I am done on it all. I need to go to sleep now and thanks for being here because I did not want to shoot holes in my bedroom or scare anyone. It's done now."

Charlie took in a deep sigh and knew she just needed emotional quiet now and sleep.

He would handle the Edward matter later and for now his daughter needed him there and her rest. Charlie felt like the dad in the moment and vulnerable caring moment for her and his heart poured out of his uniform to this young woman looking like a sleeping beauty now.

He had no idea the mess she carved and created at the Cullen house. Innocence of Bella Sleeping is all he had on his mind for now. She was breathing and sleeping fine and he sighed.

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra booksbyroshandra Beta Editor, Rose Cruz, thank you, Fan Fiction


	9. Chapter 9

The Forest of Edward's Mind

Story by Roshandra Mitchell Simon

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra Airriel

Chapter 13

The Forest Closes for Edward

My car drove along quietly behind my family and the snug community with trees. There is oldness in the location and feeling of the early time of the region. All the roads are along these narrow rolling and winding sceneries of Massachusetts early time. Carlisle was going to be opening up the garage main door and we all would slide into our car places. There it was and the house looked like a refreshing change from Oregon and my memories of what we just left. This house was in a cul de sac and Resme had found this by accident. The home was on a five acre parcel with the back reaching through the forest of trees to the river behind the property. The garage door was open now and silently we all quietly drove into our respective spaces. The garage door closed and we were all now within the privacy from the neighborhood. Being here now presented us with the all of us talking and hunting. The back acres were prefect for our moving off the property unnoticed and into the wilder sections of the New England forests. We would travel through the back areas and back to our house. My thoughts moved in my own world. The family seemed to be all fine and most of all I felt my pain was subsided. One forest was closed now and this forest served to sustain me and the different trees. Strange as I hunted I saw these woods as the birch trees moved past me and deer was hunted. Our stay in Massachusetts was going to be short but it was going to be with important contacts for our trip to England. One forest was closing now quietly and as if a book placed quietly on a shelf. Chapter done and the pages were left for there was nothing more to add there now. Strange as books are pages of paper which are made from tree pulp. More and more my mind began to consider how I might keep my world safe. The forest sheltered me and gave me what I needed. The kind of trees were changing from Oregon now to being here in New England. Rio forests drew my mind again and soon England. My forest was changing and trees seemed to be guiding me to move forward. My mind sought this out and how many forests would call me now? Maybe this would be my business and all I could see before me was on single lonely tree. Does 'a tree' become a forest? Somehow I felt this one single tree was going to show me something and take me through the forest of my mind. England had lots of trees. Well ok, Edward, figure out a business with trees in your life and surround yourself with a forest of enterprise so you won't regress back to where you just came from. This one lonely sentinel of a tree was all I could see.

Chapter 14

The Gate to England opens

Edward Masen Cullen

Trees all night long in my dreams and I meandered through the landscape changes of the forests. Then this gate with ivy on it and the feeling of passage way in through time waited for me to enter. Was it the feeling when I went away to the university? Was it the remembering of time to leave one world and entering into this new phase of where the forest and trees were taking me now? Was it something I was not to see till I walked through this gate in my dream?

Then the Gate beckoned me and a full moon appeared and my hand moved to open it. Ivy, sounds of the forest, and trees and this gate to a new beginning. England was where my life was taking me.

The Gate

The Forest of Edward's Mind

By Roshandra

The Gate will open but Edward feels he must see Rio before he finally begins this new life chapter of his in England. Something about that girl with green eyes that was haunting him. His heart was still fully with Bella but something drew him back to the city of Rio and maybe hunting in the Rain Forest. His fingers on his lap top found the travel icon and he was booking his flight with Rio first then London a few days later. As soon as he clicked reservations his sister Alice appeared at the door of his room. His mind raced quickly to obscure his thoughts from her but she caught it.

"Girl with green eyes huh"?


	10. Chapter 10

The Forest of Edward's Mind

Story by Roshandra Mitchell Simon

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. please email Roshandra Airriel

All RIGHTS are 'owned' by Roshandra Michel Simon for this Character Name of LIBERA'.

.may not be used or copied.

Chapter 15, 16. 17

Libera

The Girl with 'Green eyes'

Chapter 15

The Tree and a Gate

My family was preparing to fly off to London this week and something kept playing through my mind for the past few evenings. The moon was becoming full and I found myself drifting off focus and thinking of those green eyes.

Alice walked into my room and without looking up from my lap top she went right to topic.

'Edward, what is going on with that girl with the piercing green eyes? I am seeing her again and it's causing me to question you again and I know you want to brush over this."

My imp of a sister always had a way of getting to the point and under my skin. Somehow I could never tune out Alice fully and for sure I wanted to at this moment. "Alice really I don't know why she is showing up for you to get a vision on her or why she is at all? The hunt in Rio brought that moment of seeing her. Honestly though Alice I don't know what this is about or why you need to think I am not telling you something about who she is."

"Edward, it's not that. It's that she is strong at sending her thoughts out and I feel maybe you are not seeing what you might need to see is so obvious. She has a name too and I keep seeing her green feline like eyes and her writing her name in the forest floor where you met."

"Ok Alice, ok. Her name is Libera. I know nothing about her or what that means and honestly Alice it's a mystery to me. Her showing up when I was hunting and drowning my sorrows regarding Bella was why I almost turned into the prey with those Jaguar cats. She helped me. Other then that I have no idea what or who she was and I would rather drop this subject finally ok?"

"Edward, you are so stubborn."

Alice walked out of the room and the air went cold. I just did not feel like talking about this anymore or going into this. What did it matter anyway?

My family was getting ready to leave end of this week and Carlisle wanted to talk to me on my ideas on my work. Off and on I began feeling this single image of a TREE was following me. I wanted to talk that out with Carlisle on a business idea I was feeling. The sunroom that faced out back five acres was open only for our family to be in the garden and nature and streamed in the sunshine. Carlisle smiled and I could see it was another father son moment and I nodded and felt some of this burden of my thoughts lift off me.

'Edward, how are the business ideas going now?"

"Carlisle I wanted to talk to you about that. I keep seeing forests and trees. Any kind of a business that would in some way keep me with the forest and green ecology might be how I can create this. I know with all the changes going on with the earth and conserving trees is a small part of this. How we use trees and products from it. There might be a full enterprise I can do to make his be something expand on many levels this business could go in. Our family has always lived near or in the forests. I like this 'green thing' going on now. I think I can create a business that will not only help the trees of the planet and save them but also give a new twist on this industry of harvesting wood and using trees. I would like to create an alternative way of this and other products that would substitute on having to use trees and not cut them down. Global warming and the ozone layer and aiding forests if I can in other regions or parts of the world."

I noticed Carlisle's eyes brighten and his posture becoming taller. Something I was saying in brianstorming with him on my idea was making him look deeper in his own thoughts now.

"Edward, this is a very good venture idea. Do you have any clarity on where to begin this and where to open your office?"

"Carlisle, I can open up an office anywhere once I get this moving but I want to establish this as a test venture and see it I can grow it quickly to move into the various forest markets. Once it's going then I can add various products and maybe this can become a consulting business to third world companies to keep it in the hands of local tree farmers. Help them begin using new products that would preserve the trees and forests. My idea is stay with businesses and people that will work with the earth and the planet as a resource they are conserving. Add then to the services creative solutions for other products to grow and save the tree forest by replacing those products with things like bamboo and hemp."

With that Carlisle's eye brows went up and so did his mouth turn up at the edges. His contemplative serious look came over his face and then a smile.

"Edward, I think you are really onto something. It would seem you are going to be able to enterprise this and if you need any investors in this, I would like to help you and add to this success. I see this is not only beneficial for those in the forest business but connsumers of those products and building and I see this might turn into something beyond keeping your life moving forward. Edward, you are thinking with both your head and heart."

Carlisle smiled and I knew he was pleased. Leaving the sunroom my mind clouded and my thoughts ran swiftly to Bella. The single sentinel tree was on my focus again. One single tall fir tree was in my mind 'me'. Since I fell in love with Bella in the forest that day and nothing else matters. Trees it was then for my business so I could hide and be with the forest. Bella always talked about her going to do things to help the planet and saving nature and our resources. My only thought was to stay in the forest where I felt that love. My sanctuary. Maybe since she was gone now this would give me the way out of my forest of my mind. Maybe not but it was going to help keep my focus on my new work and maybe add to the family harmony now. I was entering a world of business now and this one tree was all I could see in front of me. Bella somehow inspired me and so it was. Tree saving hugging business I would venture into and throw myself into this forest now. It all seemed to be playing out even though I had no plan. Somehow that was part of my walk through the trees and this change now. One more step I told myself and this lone single tree was moving and so I followed the green of this and shook my head. Tree business and time to google and see what I was getting myself into. My thoughts went back to the girl with green eyes. My sister was not going to let that go. Why did that girl flash up on me now at times and something about it all was making me think on her too. Only thing that came to me as I went out the back door of the house to hunt now were those eyes and her name. Libera.

Chapter 16

Libera

The back acreage became a blur as I moved off our property and across the river there to the open reserve. The ideas on my new venture for my life was cementing in around me and I knew this would hold my interest. Trees moved in flashes and my thoughts were also and I needed to hunt. My mind cleared and then I just ran till I no longer could feel the pressures again and to not labor on all the changes. The forest was my sanctuary and my quiet. Just as I began to sense my prey and a flash of her face entered my mind. Green eyes piercing in thru the fog of my mind and I began to see the Rio forest again. She was hunting right now I sensed as I was also. Why did I seem to feel and sense her? I needed to hunt so I began to run again and as I dd I did find my prey to meet. Lunging forward to the deer I grabbed and sinking into the moment of this in my arms I saw Libera's eyes again and everything went blank. Something would not leave me and I finished the deer hunt and stood there. My body began to shake and I did not know why and then I saw her finger write her name again on the floor of the rain forest. My breathing changed and I knew I needed to go there now. Not sure why. My family would understand and I could meet them in England. Rio was calling me there and something about the girl with green eyes.

Chapter 17

Libera

Full Moon in Scorpio

Christ the Redeemer

Rio

Heading to my room my luggage opened and my thoughts were to go think through this. Turning around I knew Alice was going to ask me a million questions now. My sister was standing there.

"Alice can you take me to the Boston airport and dropped me off?"

"Edward, you re heading off to Rio and I can see…."

My finger went up and my lips pursued together and a quieting shhh came forth. All Alice said then was to affirm she would take me to the airport and walked out of my room. I was relieved and just shook my head. Alice would pry later and now I needed to head to the Rain Forest and think on this matter why this face of this girl with green eyes came to me. I now began to feel that it was my reason to return. Maybe this business I was going to open up could be part of the excuse too. I shook that off too ad it did not matter. Talking to myself seemed pointless but Rio was drawing me to this now.

RIO


	11. Chapter 11

The Forest of Edward's Mind

Story by Roshandra Mitchell Simon

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra at booksbyroshandra

thank you Rose Cruz Beta Editor from Fan Fiction

All RIGHTS are 'owned' by Roshandra Michel Simon for this Character Name of LIBERA'.

.may not be used or copied.

Chapter 18

Libera

The mind was a blur and the flight was coming into that beautiful bay of Rio de Jenaro and thoughts flashed just like the landing and put your seat belts on. I had to smile to myself. I did not remember the ride and Alice's on going talking to me. I nodded I remembered but no idea to what. I did not hear the flight from Boston take or and now that we were landing I was in my own world still. I smiled again and no trees around me, only first class passengers. What was I doing? Everything blurred again and I just had to go with this. Then I heard the wheels touch down and the jet engines reverse power to slow down and we jerked and then it was all smooth. I felt Rio in my body and the air was thick with a sense of the unknown. I was going to enter the forest again and this time through this city. I had a car reserved and in no time we were off the first class section and to customs. I had one overnight bag and my lap top and was able to move quickly through that check in. City had a suspicious feeling of drug runners and college students away for fun. The city had a special feeling to Her. All I saw when we were coming in to land was that Christ the Redeemer statue where I began to sense my inner pain regarding my Love Bella. I had to shake that off. The statue hold a secret power to it and for sure I was on my knees in the moment I remembered. Now though I felt it was something I came here to discover. Then my dull thoughts were shaken as the customs officer spoke to me and repeated what he was saying. I realized then I was done with luggage check and stamped on passport and ready to go now. I nodded back and put my passport into my coat vest pocket and gladly walked out of the customs area.

I saw the car rental counter and walked swiftly there as I wanted to leave the airport as soon as I could. Walking there I began to sense my presence was causing eyebrows to lift. My predator energy was up now too? Not sure why but I was feeling primal and needed to quiet down how I was feeling. Rather cat like or hunter mode. I smiled and brought forth a reservation number and the woman at the counter smiled and quickly entered it into her computer.

In no time she had papers for me to sign and then keys dangling being handed to me. I smiled then. I requested a Jaguar.

The ride to my hotel was nice. The air was pure Rio. I turned off the gps and just kept the windows down and I was most happy but not sure why? The hotel was in view now and Rio bay on the other side of me and I rolled into the canopy parkway. I triggered the trunk to open and as I got out of the jaguar the attendant smiled and I tossed him the car keys.

"Nice ride sir, have a good day too."

I smiled. Males and cars we just love them. This car though was really nice and I toyed with the idea of buying myself one now soon. 'Yes, nice car, and a classic for sure to drive. I am glad you like it too. Silver looks great in this model of Jaguar."

" I agree sir." He drove off and I knew he was smiling to himself. So was I. I was glad I leased this Jaguar.

The hotel was sumptuous and heading to the front desk I could feel something washing over me. Her eyes began to penetrate into my own fog and world. She was either thinking about me or looking for me. Why was her sensing me and me her so strong? Then I noticed the registration and I signed in and affirmed a few days for the suite and my card was handed me for the room and I headed to the elevator with my one bag in my hand. Quiet my mind went and the ride up to the top floor too. The doors opened and I saw the suite in front of me. I walked to it and I began to see her eyes again watching me?_Edward, relax, so what if you see her eyes and see what this is about. You might not even meet her again. After all she was very primal and did not say a word. I slide the magnetic card in the door slot and it opened._Oh my, the view hit me. Breathtakingly beautiful Rio has a way to Her. I was impressed at the Beauty here and the water and the sounds and the smells. The music takes you into that hip moving sway and causes a passion to arise. I ran here to remove myself from the Pain I caused Bella. I came here to think. Now I came to see why it drew me back. Who was this Girl with Green eyes?

The suite was magnificent in pastel yellows and browns and white and gold. It felt like liquid honey. Resme would love this suite. The décor was truly beautiful. The view though was beyond words. I walked out onto the open air balcony and I could feel myself falling in love with Rio. The pain in my chest was quiet. Something was telling me that it was alright to hope again. Something was drawing me here. Something was around me at the moment. Was it that Angel of Fate from the chapel in the Base of the Statue? My fits of fantasy had me for sure. The Beauty here for sure had me wrapped up in awe and wondering why I came. I came because that girl with green eyes drew me here. I smiled and wondered who was the predator or who the prey. Rio was beautiful.

I looked up and the Christ the Redeemer with his open arms was loving all that came here. I shook my head and took in a breath and began to ponder on the girl. Well why not go and explore. I would hunt tomorrow and just go down to the streets where the music was playing and just blend in with the locals and be in the sounds of this city.

I grabbed a few things and down I went and then street side in no time. I was going to walk. Further I went and then in no time I was in the middle of a busy Dance in the Streets with drumming and hips swaying. This street and city swayed from below the waist. Lightly clad women and mixed couples danced and the music played on. Most did not notice other then with their partners. It was like watching a book by Ernest Hemingway being played out. Then the music took me too. I decided to surrender and go with this flow and began to smile now too. _What was I doing here? Oh yes, the Girl with Green eyes._

_My mind and thoughts floated as if I was drugged. My mind began to fog and then I saw the forest again in Rio. I began to breathe heavier anticipating something. I was in slow motion it seemed and yet in a hunting mode. Hyper aware and yet quiet and observing it all and yet being part of it._

Then I saw this female behind a couple dancing. She moved fast then disappeared. I noticed her stare and I felt her watching me. I moved calmly towards this draw and then she disappeared. I looked around and then no one was there. I felt her though watching me. I walked on and as I did I felt she was up high above me. Then I felt the next bend in this street might guide me to what this was. Then it was gone. I was no longer in that fog now and acutely aware of human beings and dance but her presence was gone. It was a mystery and so I felt suddenly at a dead end on this. My thoughts raced ahead to see if I could sense anything about this and it was all empty and a blank. I took in a deep breath and turned around and was going to head back to the hotel and think about coming here and what this all meant. I turned the corner and I walked into another street band and more people pressing into tight areas. I was going to go around and avoid this but something made sense to go straight through this section. I squared my shoulders and decided to head through the mob of bodies dancing. They were all pressing up against their partners and having a good time. Hips were swaying and music loudly sounding over all the talking dancers. Laughter and joy was heard in this movement of the dance in Rio. Then something was watching me again. Then I felt a presence and I felt my body touched as someone glanced by my hips. Then I turned and then I stopped moving and my stare when to her immediately. There she was and tingles ran through my body from head to toe. I could not move and she was standing there behind someone. She did not move either nor run. Our eyes locked in and I felt it again. It took my breath away and she penetrated into the depth of my body and soul. I did not want to move. I wanted to stand there and let her eyes scan me and I wanted to see how this felt fully. I stared back deeply into her as well and she did not move either. The music was slowing down and we both just looked at each other. Then she was gone. I felt a disengage and I felt myself drop almost to ground of the street. It was as if I had risen up high through this primal connection we made. She was wide open to me and I let her in. I mean she came in and I could not prevent her entrance into me. It was strange as a male to have a powerful moment like this with a feline female penetrating into my being. At the same time I felt a void now and I wanted more. This was a new drug for me and I wanted more.

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra at booksbyroshandra

thank you Rose Cruz Beta Editor from Fan Fiction

All RIGHTS are 'owned' by Roshandra Michel Simon for this Character Name of LIBERA'.

may not be used or copied.


	12. Chapter 12

The Forest of Edward's Mind

Story by Roshandra Mitchell Simon

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction.

Please email Roshandra at booksbyroshandra

thank you Rose Cruz Beta Editor from Fan Fiction

All RIGHTS are 'owned' by Roshandra Michel Simon for this Character Name of LIBERA'.

.may not be used or copied.

Chapter 19

The Girl with Green Eyes

'Libera'

The walk back to the hotel seemed to shift my thoughts. Only holding onto that feeling carried me. This girl was there and she was in Rio at the streets and was watching me. My thoughts began to race and I walked thinking around each corner I may catch sight of her again. My heart was pounding like in a hunt. Clearly she had sensed my being here and in Rio. Maybe she did live among the human kind here. Maybe she was only in the forest that day on her own hunt and we crossed paths by chance. My mind raced and all kinds of scenarios came into a string of ideas. I began to lose track how far I walked and then this small street side café seemed to beckon me. I walked in and knew for some reason I was going to get directions to something next. I looked around and I picked up her scent. There was no doubt I felt she had walked through this café. I was going to sit and think on this and see if I could figure out which way she moved and then I saw her again. She was outside blending in with the moving crowd in this section of the street dancing. But I felt she was guiding me now away from where I was and to seek or follow her. Suddenly my inner compass kicked in. I began to see calmly I was to follow her lead. I nodded to the bartender that was watching me carefully. My thoughts where that maybe this was a family connection. I began to walk to the open doorway and the bartender spoke to me. 'Senior can I help you? You seem lost. Port favor."

"Senior, I am fine. Just tired and heading back to my hotel and I know the directions. Gracias." I left quickly and in a business like fashion. I felt his eyes trying to penetrate into me and I left.

In the street I did not want to appear I was looking for her. I walked now with no notice and no music in my mind. I walked for I knew she and I connected and something would come of this. I walked and I thought to myself that this was my surprise and why she drew me here. I walked and I hoped she would speak my language. I walked and then I turned the last corner and the crowd appeared again and new music playing. I could not see a way through this crowd and all the bodies pressed into one moving dance. Should I turn around or go through this? My hotel was not far and I began to think the best route. I stood there and then this hand slide into mine from behind and this lithe figure of a feminine feline body pressed lightly up against my back. The sensation caught me by surprise and the energy between us was electric. Primal movement through my body and my mind clouded with her scent and my own body feelings. I dare not turn around and then her voice came to me.

'Edward, I waited for you to come and find me."

With a thick accent of the region and a voice that purred I could not believe my ears. Her voice resonated and reverberated thru my body and vertebrae. It was as if she played me like a harp. This was visceral. Her hand was in mine and I just stood there in the crowd. We were standing touching and I heard her voice for the first time.

I turned slowly to look into those green eyes. She did not move and my eyes sunk in through her to what seemed to be a depth of pool in her body of passion, primal cat, Indian Incan images and birds and mystery. It clouded my mind entering into her mystery and yet I wanted to sink further into this beautiful creature of the rain forest of Rio. This was my new drug. This was the most interesting creature I had ever come across. Time stood still and our eyes only gazed into each other with no reservation. Within her was the forest and there was jaguar images and she too was an immortal. She seemed very primal and yet very human and very feline cat like. Her skin was flawless and her features refined but a kind of goddess cat like. She seemed other worldly too. But her eyes were the most amazing color of green and they changed in shades of that color as I sensed her emotions course through her body as we looked without veils into each other. She was wide open to me and I could not refuse her penetration into me. This thrill that ran through my body as I felt myself being explored, touched, and trapped. I did not know why I could not move but I chose to stand there. Everything about her was touching me in a way that I never shared with anyone before. The predator and male in me would not normally allow this but the man in me was without thought but to allow her to do what she was doing. Her mood flashed and I knew what she wanted me to do. Telepathic communication came into me directly and I jerked my body to stand taller now and see where this was going.

Not a word did she say but her hand remained in mine and she began to move and I followed this. I was taking in her scent and the feeling of body having been pressed up against mine and then she pulled me into an alley side way. Her vampire speed was clear and then she pinned me up against the brick wall. I did not resist this or her. I had no feeling of fear. After all she had saved my life in the rain forest that day before. Then I felt her strength. Again I did not resist her. Then I saw her eyes look deeply into me and penetrate me and then I knew this. I wanted to kiss her and I wanted her to just touch my face with her hand. She stepped back some and then moved her other hand to my wrist and then moved my hands above my head against the brick wall. Again I did not resist her. Then her eyes staying on my face and our looking at each other I felt her hands move down and placed them around her back and waist so I was holding her gently. I then felt her body soften to mine and her surrender and with that we both moved into the Kiss. She was filled with the forest smells and jaguar blood and Ancient images of ruins and Incans. I was filled with Victorian memories and wars and literature and the times of Amercian changes. She was Ancient in her blood line and her way of being. It all blurred and we both merged into this Kiss that felt like kindred souls. Just the mouths touched and kissed. That was all we needed. My body wanted more and I knew that what was happening to me was happening to her as well. Her Green eyes were in my mind even though my eyes had closed. I was merging with a new drug and I wanted more.

I wanted to turn her around and press forward with this kiss and moment. My thoughts raced now and I knew that this would not lend itself to anything but flashes and fast immortal movements. I wanted more than that. I wanted to know who she was and what she was. I wanted to talk to her and find out how she was mixed in with the city's human kind. I wanted to stay with this kiss and get lost in it. I was with a new drug and nothing like this had over taken me to this point. Bella flashed for a moment and my heart pained me. My body though was pushing that out of my feelings and thoughts. My Body wanted Libera and this was intoxicating me into this feeling of pure passion and body alive. Libera was her name and she had said my name, Edward'. How was this dance going to take us now and were was this going to take us? My mind fogged again and our lips where only touching and remained so.

Her hand moved and I felt her gently draw back. No predator moves and no pressure on me. She floated back in such a soft move I hardly notice my drug was not on my lips now. My body shook but my mind remained in awe as I observed where she was going to take me now I had never known anything like this before. She reached to my trousers pants pocket to feel something there. It was the room card key and I knew what this meant. I would take her to my suite. I took the lead now and she followed. Her body was like Alice's but lithe and yet different. She was so light in step and petite and we moved now out of the alley and through this next dancing crowd. I looked back at her in moments to be sure my dream was real and connected to me. She said not a word and we moved swiftly through all the bodies and people. Then the opening and the water in sight I felt us walking now along the beach sidewalk and the sounds of the music bands behind us. The Moonlight was shinning and we I am sure looked like lovers. My chest pounded and I felt for sure every primal part of me was broadcasting to this creature my every feeling and need now. I could not calm this excitement down. We walked and she was silent. We cross the main boulevard and into my hotel. The Concierge looked at me and quickly moved his eyes back down to the papers he was reviewing. Then I saw the elevator and moved her gently into it with my hand on the small of her waist and back. Her back felt so good to my hand. Her hand in my hand felt so good. The kiss though was taking in that moment when two people touch in that drawing together and the hope of something more and more and more. The elevator opened and I walked holding her hand and she followed to my suite door and in seconds I had the magnetic card swiped and we were safely inside.

She remained quiet and walked through the suite to the balacony and I followed. She pointed to the rain forest and the Statue. I looked and then on her tip toes she kissed me. My head infused again with her intoxicating drug. That took my breath away and my male body responded. Then she calmly left me standing there and went off to see the entire suite. I slowly followed her not to make her feel me pressing in on her exploring and that I was only observing her. Then she found the master bedroom and turned to me. She reached for me hand and drew me to her and then the bed. Fully dressed she drew me down to the bed and I read her thoughts. She only wanted to sleep with me and in my terms was a feeling of just resting together in each others arms. I smiled and for me to just see who she was and how over powering this experience was and so primal was for sure good to be a sleep over. I smiled. In other terms she wanted to cuddle. Fully clothed we got under the covers. I rolled her over me and I took off her sandals and she loosened my shirt and I my belt . It was very innocent and I felt my entire body relaxed and I smiled

Outside the open balcony was the music wafting and the beach waves lapping on the shore. The suite was dark and there I was with this girl with green eyes in my arms and my bed. My mind drifted as her scent and my drug was soothing me to quiet and rest. I rarely sleep but with her I was able to find deep slumber and rest. Did God send her to me and that Angel? Suddenly I was at peace and I drifted off to where ever I was meant to go. We fell asleep and only one Kiss.

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra booksbyroshandra

Beta Editor, Rose Cruz, thank you, Fan Fiction


	13. Chapter 13

The Forest of Edward's Mind

Story by Roshandra Mitchell Simon

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra Airriel

All RIGHTS are 'owned' by Roshandra Michel Simon for this Character Name of LIBERA'.

.may not be used or copied.

Chapter 20

Morning sunrise alone

Waking from a deep slumber and something I rarely do is sleep I felt the warmth of the sunrise bathing over me and the bed. My arm reached over to find Libera and returned empty. I looked around the room and felt her presence gone. This female was an enigma and my mind raced around the options of what caused her to leave with not waking me. I walked to the balcony and to look out over the morning sounds going on and smelled the air to see if I could pick up on her scent. I felt empty again and perplexed as to why she left without telling me. Of course, we did not say a word other then hearing her voice in that one sentence last night to me. I sat down on the couch and felt myself sinking into confusion and wonder. Why had I felt this draw to coming here and then her watching me from the crowds and in the streets with the music playing? Then this after just sleeping together and holding her she slipped from my arms and was gone? Why?

I needed to hunt and go clear my head now and get out of the suite. The sounds of venders selling their freshly baked breads and smells of flowers and exotic foods filled the air. No scent of her though. My shoulders shrugged and I decided rather then try to figure this female out that maybe I just go hunt and then wait and see if she shows up here again. She knows where I am and she found me after all in the crowds last night.

Downstairs I moved swiftly and my car was there as I saw the Silver Jaguar I just had to smile to myself. How absolutely funny that I was driving a car named after a type of cat that almost killed me and now this female with this feline nature was like this car too. Jaguar.

I had already decided as I slid into the car that I would seek out a new area of forest. I felt the car almost take me as if this Jaguar had a feline mind of its own. My mood varied and went in and out as the car move through Rio. The beach glistened this morning time and barely clad female bodies already adorned the sand. Women in this region of the world did not walk but swayed. Everywhere you looked it was the movement of the hips and music and the feeling of dance. My head had to had to clear and so did my meandering thoughts. My car began to climb now and I felt the coolness of the air change into the rain forest. I began to lose myself in the drive.

The car knew where she was going so I felt it was fine to sit back and just drive. Then my foot hit the brakes and my heart rate went up. Across the hood of the car sprang two jaguars crossing the road. I did not expect that bolt of animal play and it started me and out of my reverie. I decided this forest maybe was too crowded and maybe I should turn around and collect my things and fly out of here to England. This was a wild goose chase. I sat there in the middle of the winding road and then in my rear view mirror I felt her. I saw her and her eyes saw me and we both did not move. I was upset. She clearly was hunting the two jaguars that jumped over the hood of the car.

I got out of my car and looked right into her. She was startled to see me here. Her breathing was still from her chase of the cats and she was panting. I could not believe how beautiful this woman was and without a second thought I walked right to her and I kissed her. I felt her give her body to me and kiss me back. I felt her heart beating fast and took in her scent. I felt her body move without hesitation into my stance. I felt her steady and strong and stable. I slowly drew back and she did not move. Her eyes where wide open and looking at me. My eyes were just opening to see that. I smiled. She looked right into me and turned to go chase her prey and feed. She was gone again but this time I knew why and where she was going. I got back in my Jaguar and found a spot not far to pull off the road safely and then I was off to hunt also. I needed to feed and I was undeniably arounsed by this Feline Immortal. I felt the trail and scented the two young cat she was tracking. I was not sure this would be enough for both of us to feed on. I smiled and was not going to miss this for anything. I smiled at the thought of that kiss. She did not even bat an eyelash or push this away. This drew me more to my exploring this and how this made me feel. My heart ached for Bella and the pain arising reminded me of how deeply I loved her. Now though was a moment of no thinking and I needed to hunt. Maybe just my sad missing Bella and longing for her showing itself. Maybe just a reminder of whom I still held my heart for and to. _Maybe, ok Edward hunt. Stop the mental meandering traps of the endless loops._

She was there and had landed both cats and was drinking from one. I looked fully seeing those where her kills and then she surprised me. She offered the other to me. He was not fighting the kill and was not dead yet and I graciously accepted the gift. As my incisors sunk into the cat I could only see LIBERA. Her green green eyes and her tawny skin coloring. Her loose hair and her smooth facial expressions kept my eyes upon her. She finished her cat and wiped her mouth and did not stop starring deeply into me. She got up and walked right to me. She grabbed me and I dropped my cat. I had just drained the rest of my dinner from it and her hold on me was strong and with purpose. My body ached and for her. She drew me to her and I felt her overpowering primal nature. I never had been around an immortal so in her element. She was so cat like. She pushed on my body and I knew she wanted me down on the floor of the forest. My mind raced forward. Is this how we would make love? Here like this and in nature. In the wild and the two cats we drank of limp near us? She pushed me down as I felt her come in closer and then directly straddled me. Her clothing was barely much. I was still dressed in kaki trousers and a polo shirt and shoes. She was barefoot and with a dress on only. Not much of a dress and then I felt her fire slide onto my pelvis area. My body ached. Suddenly my breathing raced and then she did not move. I was not sure if this was a moment of dominance or a moment for her to listen to the forest to be sure we where alone. I was not sure of anything at this moment other then this beautiful jaguar girl was sitting on top of me. My head was swimming with the possibilities of what she was going to do and what I wanted her to do. I had not been with a woman ever and this was certainly not how I imagined this. The primal urges astounded me and I remained quiet and still. Then I saw her glance into me and my body shuddered. Her hand went down my chest and shirt and to my trouser belt. I sighed and she just kept looking into me. I was the prey for sure and she was doing what she wanted and how she wanted. This surrender I felt was making me breath heavier. Then a noise and she stopped and the glance broke. She stood up and put her finger to her lips. I knew someone was near and I knew to move quickly and let her be with the two cats. I was back to my car in no time and quietly pulled back onto the asphalt road and drove on. My head was fogged and my heart beating fast. Primal urges and the forest and LIBERA moved across my mind and my smile. Now what I thought to myself? Edward drive on. This girl will be the death of you. You know nothing about this enigma and this is a dangerous part of the world. Drive on and forget this girl. That thought made total sense to me but her scent was on me and my trousers too. Her lips were on my lips and the Jaguar blood from those cats ran through us both. Who is the girl? The car took me over the hill and then the ocean was there in front of me. There my head began to clear and the sense of destiny cross my path. With Destiny we have a CHOICE. I had a choice on this I felt. With FATE that. With Libera I had a Destiny of choice.

Thank goodness the road I was merging into at the ocean was the road that would take me back to my hotel suite and I could step away from these thoughts and the forest and what was happening. I just followed the road heading me back to Rio. I was going to take a shower and try to sleep and then decide on when I was leaving. This could get messy and I had to keep a grip on this. This was not going to be a relationship for how could I live here in Rio? I was heading to England and my Business and this was an unexpected unplanned surprise. Maybe Destiny but again I had a choice on this or not doing this.

The street sounds I heard were at the Christ the Redeemer tram ride. I drove past it and closed the windows of the car. I drove now into the city and I began to feel perplexed on this entire connection. She showed up at the rarest moments. We crossed paths and she could find me in a crowd in Rio. I go out to hunt and at the same place she is hunting her own kills. This is Destiny of some kind. What are the odds?

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra Airriel

All RIGHTS are 'owned' by Roshandra Michel Simon for this Character Name of LIBERA'.

.may not be used or copied.


	14. Chapter 14

The Forest of Edward's Mind

Story by Roshandra Mitchell Simon

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra Airriel

All RIGHTS are 'owned' by Roshandra Michel Simon for this Character Name of LIBERA'.

.may not be used or copied.

Chapter 21

Sunset alone

My mind was made up the moment I pulled into the Rio hotel. I looked at the parking attendant and tossed him the Jaguar keys. I knew he was happy to drive this car and I knew I was also. I walked in to the hotel with clearness now an focus. The concierge responded and asked if I would be staying another night and needed the Jaguar longer. I nodded and said one more night and will fly out the following evening after dusk. He nodded and handled arrangements for me and my air flight also. I was changing it all and going to leave sooner. I needed to leave to keep my head clear and not be spun around anymore by the circumstance. Her thoughts were so strongly connecting with me that her visions brought me here to Rio. Yes of course I was curious and wondered why. Clearly there was a primal energy between us. The elevator opened and the suite was in front of me and my card to key it open I held motionless. She was here? I smelled her here. I gathered my breath and decided that we needed to talk and I needed to understand who she was. I then put the card in the magnetic slide and there she was. She came in over the balcony and I could only smile. She starred deeply and quietly into me. Barefoot and barely dressed she stood as a beautiful primal example of the best of Rio. Her indigenous nature made her so unique and her beauty was rare. I walked right over to her and spoke.

"Libera, why did you leave me this morning? Who are you? "

"Edward, I do not speak much and I feel. I feel you. I do not know why you came into my hunting area and I only know that I want to see you. You are not like my tribe and you came to hunt and I see you. I see into you and I want to see more."

I was stunned. In those few sentences she spoke volumes to me. Her energy spoke to me. I never had any immortal make me feel the feelings of what they were saying. She was direct and primal and piercing into me with her words and honesty. I had no doubt she wanted to mate. Like a wild primal jungle cat an she was I heat. I knew why she wanted me now. I knew why she drew me here to her. How could something of this nature be so strong to do this. She was half Immortal and half Jaguar mystery. Then she reached up to touch my mouth. I kept starring at her and I needed to step back. She just observed me. I was not the prey and I was not letting this happen. She became aware of my feelings and mood and thoughts.

" I need to take a shower after the hunt Libera. Please be comfortable and I will be back shortly. If you want to wash there is another bathroom here and I and show you the water." She seemed to understand and shook her head. I moved to the master bedroom and she followed but waiting in the bedroom where we had slept last night

I needed to clear my head again and I headed right for the large shower and stripped off my clothing fast.

The shower head was large and filled with warmth and a nice scent of the soap there. I began to wash and feel my body and relax with the heat of the water. I washed my hair and rolled my head back and began to close my eyes while the water was pounding on my back. My hands leaned up against the shower tile wall and the jets of water pressure felt so good. I felt her enter the room and the shower stall door open. I did not turn around. I felt her walk forward and slowly lean up against my back. I felt her clothing was on. I took in her scent and a deep breath. I turned around and I looked right into her eyes. We Kissed. This time I lifted her up onto my waist and her legs went around me easily and naturally. I grabbed her dress with my free hand and tugged it off over her head. Easily it was freed. She was naked and now and clearly mine. I was not not underneath her but I was standing up now and she was holding me with both her arms and leaning back. I was clearly going to make love to her and taking all of this in we stood together with the shower pouring down upon us. The slight ledge seat in the shower was large enough to place her on and then and only then did my eyes leave her eyes. There was no hesitation on her part. Her wanting me was primal and natural and I was not going to deny myself this either. Her legs were beautiful and muscled and well formed from running. Her legs were open to me and I felt granted entrance. My first experience and I felt there was no desire or need to know more then to allow. So I did. She instantly drew me in and I entered her with such passion and the mystery of this experience. Her eyes stayed on me and I realized this was going to move from into love making. It was as if the clouds of heavens opened and the mystery of a woman was unfolding upon me. Do all men feel this? Her movements caught me and I began to only see her and feel her fully and her body. I could hear her heart and feel everything about her. I wanted to 'please' her and yet I did not dare take my focus off her and stayed with the unfolding. Our breathing increased and then I felt her push me back. I responded and gently lifted her up off me and held her and her legs remained around my waist. I turned the shower off and she watched me. I walked carrying her to the bed and grabbed a towel to wrap around her. She smiled. I thought to myself that maybe the jungle was not so gentlemanly. My focus came right back to her and what she wanted of me and how I could please her. I walked us to the bed and gently placed her there and the towel with her. She was so natural and with that took the towel off her body so I could view her fully. I smiled as that was such a gift to me. I took in all of her and her legs and her face and all of her and her breast and those eyes. We were going to make love there for hours and I gladly surrendered myself to this and to pleasing her. Do all men feel like this? My head swam with her in my arms and our bodies moving and her sounds. I watched every detail and I stayed with however she wanted me and what she wanted of me. Those eyes penetrated into me and I surrendered myself to this and this moment of a woman. A feline jaguar immortal and those green eyes and making Love.

All night this moved us and then the sun was gone. Then the night moved along and then at some time when the city began to quiet so did we. I waited for her to subside and quiet in my arms and as she did I felt her head rest upon my chest. I felt this was just the beginning and I did not wish to move or hurry this along. Whatever she wanted of me and why she drew me to her I was her slave and a happy captive. Immortals are not like this. She was more primal big cat and jungle then anything I had ever experienced or seen before. I wondered how this would all unfold. I found myself closing my eyes hoping she would remain in my arm at sunrise and that maybe we would talk then. I went into slumber and she was already there. I pulled up the blankets over her naked body and I smiled.

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra Airriel

All RIGHTS are 'owned' by Roshandra Michel Simon for this Character Name of LIBERA'.

.may not be used or copied.


	15. Chapter 15

**The Forest of Edward's Mind**

**Story by Roshandra Mitchell Simon**

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra Airriel

All RIGHTS are 'owned' by Roshandra Michel Simon for this Character Name of LIBERA'.

.may not be used or copied.

Chapter 22

**Knowing**

The night brought me dreams. I was moving from the Forests of the Pacific Northwest and I was in the Rain Forest. I was running away from something or someone. As I ran I was looking for the new Forest to go to. The new forest was across the ocean and it seemed to be ancient woods and huge trees of the past. This forest was strange looking and I was confused. I found myself returning to the rain forest and walking there alone. The jaguars came around me there and they all looked at me. I sat down and they formed a circle around me. Then Libera came to the dream. With her were other Jaguar immortals of her tribe. All the males were wearing masks and feathers and jaguar clothing and in silence. Libera wore a jaguar dress of some sort. She wore no mask. Following her was a cub. The cub changed into a small boy then changed back into a cub. Then Libera changed into a jaguar and she was colored in the brown and spotted and gold yellow cat eyes. Her eyes changed. As I sat there then I saw her walk to me and then she changed. Her eyes went green again and this time her jaguar fur was pure black. I woke up gasping and again I was alone. I was breathing heavily and I felt the room begin to fill with a presence. First what I saw was the Angel of Fate again. I could not move. I grabbed my chest and my heart was aching. What did I do? What did I do? Then Bella's face came to me and her voice.

"Edward, I am dreaming of you too."

That was all. The room stayed bright. Too early for sunrise and too confusing for me and so I sat there. Nothing was making sense to me now. Then I heard a noise in the suite. I knew Libera was there. I had to talk to this girl with green eyes. My heart was aching and my Love for Bella was even more present then ever before. I wanted to apologize to Libera and tell her I must go and why. I wanted to meet my family and talk to my Father about this. All of this was new for me and I thought I was just going to see who this girl was and then go to England.

Libera stood here in her dress. Barefoot and hair tossled. She was beautiful and silent and at like. She was not at all like my Bella. She was primal and of the forest here. She was something more and I had to understand what her tribe and jaguar life was about. The Dream rattled me and her being in the dream. It rattled me when Bella came in a brief vision also. This Angel showing up was upsetting me as well. My life was an endless amount of trees and forests now and I could not see where this was taking me at all. I was lost in the forest of my mind and my feelings taking me on a roller coaster ride. My calm was gone and lost and my heart ached.

She stood there like a cat startled and I needed to talk.

Sunrise was coming into the suite now and the sounds of Rio were waking up along the ocean outside the balacony.

Libera looked at me and her green eyes flashed and I watch her draw her legs under her body catlike to curl and sit. Poised like a jaguar and watching me.

"Libera, I need to talk about this and last night."

"Why did you want me to come here to Rio and why did you hunt me in the streets to find me? Most of all last night and making love I was not sure what to make of all of this."

Her fingers went up to my lips. She pursed her lips and made a soft sound. I knew she was going to explain or show me something. She reached for her tummy and gently and lovingly caressed it. I knew instantly why then. She wanted to have a child and mate. There was no pretense with her as she was direct and primal. I could feel her feelings and her motherly instincts. I was moving into shock and disbelief but my logic of my mind took over. This would make total sense as how she was was a female wanting to breed and mate and that was simple and clear. I had never made love and for me it was a new experience. I felt that what occurred was something in some way that was meant to be. Why else would she be able to draw me here. Maybe it was a destiny to meet her that day in the rain forest when I was bleeding my own personal heart from what I did to Bella. Maybe the almost being killed by the pack of jaguars and seeing Libera was what had to save me. I did not know. I was clear she wanted to conceive and I guess I was the donor sperm for her biological needs. It was not contrived but she chose me. I am sure she had others in her tribe or group and for whatever reason she wanted this with me. I was not sure if she could get pregnant or if her kind could mate with her own tribe. This was all a mystery to me and new. I was way off the map now and the forest and trees had me. Rio had me. This green eyed jaguar girl had me. But the Dream was clear. The dream was about her and a cub. In the dream her tribe of elders came around her and me and this cub. I had the sense now I was part of something that drew me here and how ever this would be I was along on this and maybe only a spectator. I was sure I had no idea what was going to happen. Could she know she conceived in one night?

She reached for her tummy again and this time she looked right into me. I jumped and I saw into her and her world and vision. I saw her pregnant and her tribe of male elders dancing around her. I saw a jaguar that shape shifted into a man. A male of her group as she the same as she was. I saw that she was alone. I saw the tribe talking to her and I saw jaguar teeth being tossed on the earth like some kind of reading of stones. Each jaguar took had a symbol on them and each one had a meaning. The elder males read the signs. I then saw her tummy growing and I saw a jaguar inside her sleeping. I pulled back and I shook my head to remind me to speak.

"Libera, you wanted me to come to Rio. I understand that you made a deep connection to me that day in the forest. I see you wanted this with me. Is that correct?"

She nodded and touched my chest. I felt calm and I felt I understood. She then took my hand and walked me to the open balcony. She wanted to show me something. Down below there were people bustling and food in the air and then she pointed to the street were we met in the night of the dancing. I knew she wanted to take me there and I agreed. I turned to go get my shoes and dress and she was gone? Out the balcony and I figured she would meet me outside. I was not sure if I was to walk or if I was to drive. I felt I needed to hunt again so heading out I called for the car. I no sooner got in and turned down the side street when she was there. I smiled and got out and opened the door for her. I felt she might never have been in a car before let alone on a drive. I closed her car door thinking now I have this green eyed jaguar girl in a jaguar car. How did this happen? I sighed thinking of the Volvo and the dance and Bella. I sighed again as I got into the driver's seat and then she spoke.

"Edward you think too much."

I shook my head as she was in my mind and I was feeling her again. Then her finger pointed to where she wanted me to turn and go and I followed her directions. Then she looked at the café we were in that night and I knew it was her family spot. I found parking and I got and opened her door. I smiled thinking she might claw her way out of the car. I laughed at myself and the mess my life was in at the moment. She walked barefoot into the café and I followed quietly. Then a few turns in hallways and then down stairs to a darkened section. We walked then past candles on the floor and a dirt floor at that. I saw images of Cats and Jaguars and feathers. I saw incense smoke and I heard men talking. We walked to a door and she did not touch the knob but it opened from the inside.

The face surprised me. A strong ethic looking older man with a painted image of cat markings on him greeted me. The room was thick with cigar smoke. All the men stopping talking and sized me up instantly as they all starred at me in unison. This was a tribe and there was no doubt I was the subject. Libera went to the one wearing a necklace of jaguar teeth. I felt that was either the head of this group or maybe her father. I did not sense danger at all but I did not know what was going to happen. She immediately began to speak in a language I did not recognize. Their native tribal tongue rolled off her lips quickly. The male elders listened and began puffing again on their cigars. They all seemed taking this in stride including having me there. Then English was spoken and one rather angry male looked at me and began to question me.

"Why you come here? We do not know your kind. Where did you breed from?"

That was an interesting question as I was not bred but I was 'made'. I was changed into a vampire. "Sir, my name is Edward Cullen and I was not bred or made that way but I was bitten and changed when I was dying. It happened over a hundred years ago when I was very ill and dying."

He stood up and came over to me and looked right into my eyes.

"We are born you are not born then."

"No I am not born and I did not know other immortals are born to this. Do you know what has happened with this girl and me?"

The older man in the group that was observing me and puffing on his cigar looked right at me and I knew he was going to talk now. He seemed to be the tribal leader or her father.

"She chose you. We did not want this but she chose. She wanted this and you and we don't. So it is done and she chose. Our tribe is jaguar and we are Incan and you do not know our customs and we are between world walkers. She is the one that chooses. She is the one that choose you. She is the daughter of the lineage of the gods and her father is the chief. He is very ill and sick and he is going to die. She knew she wanted this and she went against his will and so he will die. But she gets to choose. That is our way. The female jaguar chooses. It is done."

My head was spinning now and I began to consider that maybe she was not pregnant and it was only the one day and night together. How could she be pregnant so fast? This was all happening and did not make sense. I turned to her and I saw her look at me and I could suddenly feel or sense she was not alone. I could not believe I heard a second heart beat from her. She had conceived and was carrying her precious cargo of a child already. I was going to drop on the dirt floor but someone stood next to me. A female elder with a painted face and a jaguar necklace too that was going to speak.

"He was her choice. He gave her what she wanted. The gods brought him to the forest when they met and he and she connected through their eyes. It was meant to be this way. That is why he came here to Brazil. The gods want this mixing of the bloods and this child will be jaguar like his mother. She is with cub now and we know our history. It was destined that one not of us would come to this region and he would lend his seed here. He would help the prophesy and the region and the forest. He is going to help protect us and the trees and the jaguars and our tribe. He did not know this but his journey has brought him to us for this. She chose him. It is done. If the chief dies it was meant for his death and he cannot change this. The new cub is the new leader of our tribe. He is with his mother."

I then knew the story and why. I then knew I was part of something that the dream made sense now to me and I then knew I would not remain here. Libera needed me for what she sensed I was to bring and help her do. That was done now and there was nothing more to say on that or do.

She looked at me in a way I could only describe as a primal mother cat. She had no use for me nor any need for a relationship. I was part of some higher matter going on and this tribes. I decided then maybe I would go. Everything served its purpose.

I walked out calmly and feeling more alone than ever before. My sister did not see this coming. I did not understand this mystery till now. I did not know what the future of this would bring. Most of all I knew she was carrying a child between us and I might never see this child. My life had changed even more and I had no 'say' in any of it. Maybe my pain brought me to run from Bella that night or maybe this was my Destiny to come here and meet the girl with green eyes in the rain forest. I wanted to not be in pain and this confusion of having no control over my life at the moment just affirmed I was going from the frying pan into the fire. The forest was closing in on me and now it had jaguar cats in it. I had been raised to trust my feelings and stay objective. Now I was just chosen by this jaguar girl and my purpose seemed done. I walked out of the basement room and the thick cigar smoke. They began speaking again in their language. My heart was heavy and my head ached. I walked past the altars I saw when she walked me in and I shook it off. I headed to the stairs and then I saw this face of an Ican god with a jaguar body. I almost wanted to run. I got out of the café and went right to my car. I sat there for a moment thinking about leaving Rio that afternoon and being gone. Then Libera was there. I unlocked the door locks and reached over to open the door for her side. She got in and was quiet.

"Edward I chose. I knew when my eyes saw your eyes you were the mate sent for me for the gods did this. Jaguar did this."

"You are telling me you and I imprinted then. You are telling me this is a destiny. You are telling me . You are telling me we were suppose to mate."

She nodded and I knew in her mind and body she was certain.

I began to think this might be right. Why else did she show up and save me from bleeding out? I did know ever of this kind of immortal and this jaguar mystery. She was a shape shifter too and it was clear this was moving so fast that I was just along on the circumstances.

"Libera, I need to leave Rio. I think you don't need me and I did not know this was going to go this way. I need to just get my life back and just go away. I seem to be making more messes and I seem to not have any control over my life and what is happening. I feel like a train wreck crashing off a mountain like coming down from the Christ Redeemer cable car ride."

She turned away from me and then with those piercing green eyes looked right into me and I felt it. I felt her heart and I felt no attachment to me and I felt this pain of my loneliness come up full force. I was empty inside. I had been so empty and void even in my family that loved me. I felt when Bella entered my life I came alive for the first time since I had been changed into an immortal. I felt this emptiness again and I began to cry and let down. She reached out to touch me and my pain abated for a moment. She put her hand on the ignition keys and I knew I was to drive. I drove and did not think where the car was going and us in it. I drove through the streets and I drove to the forest and I drove till I ran out of road. I stopped and got out of the car. She came and followed. I ran off to hunt and in no time I found my prey. I heard her on my heels and we hunted as a team. I ran faster than ever before and there were three male mid size jaguars. I grabbed for one instantly and then the other. I took down two of them in a flash. I knew she had the other. I drank to fill myself up and handle my thirst. She drank and watched me. I sat down on the rain forest floor of the jungle. She sat too. She reached over to show me the jaguar fangs. I knew she was going to collect them. I offered them all to her. She smiled and patted her stomach. She would keep them for this child cub. I marveled at her and her primal beauty and how natural she was here in the forest. This was her world and domain. I was a stranger here and I felt it was nearing my time to go. The beauty here was strange and wild. She was beautiful.

She was not my Bella but I had to leave her go. Libera was beautiful and of a kind that understood living a long forever existence and a way of hunting for prey. She was my kind but not and a beautiful creature of this region. Now I was going to have an offspring. What was I going to do with this and helping her. I knew she did not need me or attach or expect me to be here. I had to ask more questions and get my head around this and what I was to do or not do.

She wrote in the floor of the forest.

Edward jaguar sent you to me.

That is all she wrote. I wrote her name then and I began thinking her name meant more to me and I needed to know how she came by that name. I wrote, 'Libera. What does it mean?'

She looked at me and shook her head and then wrote it and wrote. 'Jaguar came to me call me that name when I was a cub in mother.'

Her name was beautiful. So were her green eyes.

I stood up and I extended my hand to her and she looked puzzled. Then she gave me her hand and got up. We walked in silence back to the car. I opened the door for her. She was barefoot and part of this forest and I did not belong here. This was her forest and world but I knew I would do whatever I had to do to help her and this child and the rain forest. I was focused on our drive back and wondering where she would go now? The hotel was there and I saw her face change to let me know she had to get out. I stopped and opened her door from my seat and I knew she would climb up and be in the suite before I would. I smiled on that. I drove in tired and tossed the car keys to the attendant. The concierge spoke on my way in and told me he could only get me a flight for early next morning. That suited me fine. I was going to fly direct to London. I was beyond exhausted and I did need to rest.

My room suite card key slide into the magnetic slot and the door opened. There she was and smiled.

I walked into the suite and took off my shoes and she walked right over to me.

"We are bonded but you free."

I thought to myself that her name means something. Her green eyes danced and she was happy. I was tired and emotionally drained. I wanted to shower and did so. She followed me into the bathroom and poised herself there on the counter like a jaguar cat. Then I heard a sound which I thought reminded me of a purr? I got into the shower and knew I would wash alone. She was pregnant and did not want more of me I felt. I took a deep breath in and finished and grabbed a towel. She was no longer in the bathroom. She had this way of disappearing and then out of nowhere being there. I stumbled to the bed and then she appeared. She was drinking milk from the kitchen and had milk on her upper lip. She was definitely cat in many ways. I crawled into the bed and she moved in next to me.

My mind raced along. No dating or gentlemanly ways and although I was opening up doors and driving her I was not a boyfriend or a suitor. I did not seek her for intimacy only and yet I lost my virginity and had my first love making with her. It was natural. Now she carried a child and I to be a father. I was not in love but there was some kind of bond there. I rolled over and there she was. She snuggled up against my chest and I put my free arm around her. She touched my heart with her hand. She looked right into me and I felt her thoughts and vision came to me. She was pregnant and happy. I saw her abdomen growing and I saw her tribe around her. I saw a cub walking with her. The cub was black and he had green eyes just like hers. I saw her change into a black jaguar and I saw them running in the rain forest and them hunting together. I saw the cub change into a young boy and then a man. I saw him walking to me and startled me. I felt I knew him and I saw my business of trees and I saw Brazil and I saw an office here he would work from. I suddenly saw my Life making sense. My breathing and worry lightened up. As it did I felt her warmth against my body and then the strangest sound? I heard her purring. Libera was purring and I was holding her and the precious cargo she carried within her body. My world changed to responsibility and it changed to a feeling of fatherhood. I dosed off and the night took my worries and concerns and I slumbered holding her and the life within her. The Angel entered into the room and my dreams took me. The sound of her purring soothed me and I slept.

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra Airriel

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra Airriel

All RIGHTS are 'owned' by Roshandra Michel Simon for this Character Name of LIBERA'.

.may not be used or copied.


	16. Chapter 16

**The Forest of Edward's Mind**

**Story by Roshandra Mitchell Simon**

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra Airriel

All RIGHTS are 'owned' by Roshandra Michel Simon for this Character Name of LIBERA'.

.may not be used or copied.

**Chapter 23**

**Sunset Leaving Rio De Janeiro**

Waking up that morning as I thought she was gone. I felt the warmth in my bed so I knew when I rolled over at sunrise that she stayed till moments ago. She may have been watching me and left just before I came out of my slumber. I smiled and thought of Bell and my heart strings began to hurt. Even to take a brief moment to day dream on my Love caused me pain and so my thoughts had to move away swiftly. I wondered what she was doing and where she was at the moment. More pain so I had to tell myself that I could not do that. I was not being fair to Bella after all and I had promised her freedom. My hand slide across the bed sheets and I knew Libera was gone now too. The only thoughts was to get up, shower, maybe hunt and pack and head to the airport for the night flight to England. Rio was beautiful and it held in the air a feeling of romance and mystery. Heading from the balcony into the shower I began to sort my morning out. As soon as I stepped into the cascading shower and the morning daylight streaming in there I realized that I was going to test the city on my Business plan idea. The Trees here and species in this rain forest were endangeerd I found my lap top and began to explore information on the local forests here and businesses. I came across something rather startling. There were only a few forestry businesses on this location and since I was here I might as well see if I could make some personal contacts today before I left Rio. So my day plan was business and just focus on making the best of the last day here.

I walked over to the balcony and the beach was filling up with morning lightly clad sunbathers. Rio was beautiful and being by myself again reminded me of all the love I had to step away from. Bella was always with me and in me and even right now I had to tread lightly and leave it alone. After all I set that in motion to make sure she did not follow me or try to change my mind. She needed to live a normal mortal life and with someone that could live a life with her and have children. Grow old together and have a life of happiness.

The phone rang and I had no idea who was calling. Her voice I heard then as I said hello.

"I will see you before you go." Then Libera hung up? I shook my head as I knew she would find me and show up when she wanted to and know how to. I was going to go explore business and forestry connections and see what I could do for future work here. Rio was beautiful and Christ the Redeemer with his arms open wide seemed to be blessing this region of the world and Brazil. I only wanted my peace of mind and hoped my love was well. Bella was always my LOVE. Even if I could not see her and stay in the shadows I hoped I could keep our agreement. I felt I had to stay my distance. I felt I could not love another as I loved her and still loved her. I felt smashed up inside deep down and I felt that was my own fault and stupidity. I did this to us to begin with. I was so intrigued and drawn to her from the beginning. Some say that is Fate or the Soulmates that draw us to each other. I wanted to protect Bella from being as I was and she was rushing to it. I felt I could not live with that or myself if she was as I was and my family. I knew if she had agreed to be with me I was going to follow her right after her old age and death. After all I was death walking to begin with between worlds. I did not want that for her and for her I wanted her happy and I was trying my best to help let that all be'. My mind had to stop rationalizing Love and this matter. I needed to go out and Rio was part of my journey.

I was going to meet with an office of Sustainable Forest management. This seemed on line to show connections to the entire country over view and program outline on harvesting wood. Chile had a city set up around how this worked and how they restore the forests they harvest. That is where I was going to begin and learn all I could on my flight to England. I wanted to be informed and talk to Carlisle before I began my Business and Company. Bella was very Eco Aware and for me the forest gave me the insulation from the world and quiet. Trees seemed to always be part of my life and my family always lived near the forests. We hunted in them and we were able to be our immortal selves in that cover of trees. It seemed to make sense my business would be with trees and around the environment of the earth. Anything to do with helping the earth and natural solutions Bella instilled in me. This seemed like the perfect step for my life and my protective canopy of cover. An idea for my office came to me with huge potted species of trees in a lobby. Business of trees and commerce merged into one idea of nature and enterprise working together. Not using up our earth resources or local third world countries forests. I felt my idea was going to be good and I was already now moving in motion on creating it. My cell hit the number I found on line and the reception greeted me in Spanish. I was able to secure a half hour meeting and I was out the door to see what this would be about.

I did not have much time. After all I was heading to England and my family that night.

I slide into the jaguar and I smiled. Drove out of the hotel and down the wide boulevard along the ocean and found the guidance system in the car directing me to the office I was heading to. Shortly I was there and sat in the car looking at the sign over the building. Time to see where my life was going and I entered the main door and greeted by a Rio secretary. In Spanish we conversed and I was shown into the president's office and introduced. Hand shakes and right to my business plan idea. It seemed this interested him and I nodded. His business card I nhand I planted my seed and was done now. Until I had the details of this there was only making the connection first face to face. I thanked him and the front receptionist and off I went. I had a lot to learn about trees and the forests of this region. Jaguars were endangered species too.

Walking to my car I noticed a shadow flash. I knew it was her. I got in drove slow and turned the next corner and she was there ready to get in the car. I leaned over and she slide in swiftly. She looked at me or rather into me with those piercing green eyes and touched my mouth. I looked over and stopped driving. I leaned forward and kissed Libera. She just let the electricity of our kiss shock me.

"Where would you like me to take us Libera? I am leaving tonight to go to my family far from here. Where would you like me to go with you now?"

She spoke no words and touched my heart and head. She touched the sterring wheel and I knew she wanted me to drive us somewhere. My head and my heart she touched left her feelings there. I could feel her so clearly. The cub she was carrying was quiet and almost as if it was not there. I knew it was but it was hidden now. She had what she wanted from me and I knew that. I drove and did not question this destiny for this. I drove and drove along the ocean and up through the country side of water kissing wind and water hugging the land. The Sun sparkled everything here and there was an ease and flow for sure. A very magical place Rio was. I found us entering a rising road and a forest ahead. This part of the road I did not know. We drove for half an hour more and then she became excited. I pulled off the two lane road and went to let her out and she ran ahead of me. This forest held an ancient feeling to it and as I followed her trail and scent I saw the first stone face with lush over growth around it. It startled me for a moment as I felt I was entering into a very sacred place. I began to look around and there I saw jaguars dangling large silent paws from the tree limbs there were reclining on. I stood very still realizing there were many jaguars. None seemed eager to chase or eat me but something disconcerting about this came to me. I looked up at the forest and there were trees holding these big cats as if this was a special court of jaguars. Then Libera came back and saw I was motionless. She smiled and grabbed my hand and I followed her. The cats watched me but did not move a paw or a whisker. Maybe they had already eaten their lunch and were all resting for a nap? I shook my head and follow this green eyed girl to where ever she was taking me.

Then I saw it and I was in awe. An Incan temple to the god of the jaguars stood before me. I was in awe of what I saw and disbelief. Libera touched the stones with her hand and then ran inside. I walked behind her I the dark and I knew this was her tribe and ancestors and people. Inside were paintings on the walls and I began to see through this shaft of light washing in from a higher opening that this was some kind of very ancient sacred site and all to the jaguars. The jaguars protected this and lavished here. Then she kissed me?

She wanted to make love again and so in the temple this seemed fitting. Visions washed over me and I felt cats coming in around us. I knew in some way they were not going to attack me. She aand I were safe. Rather I was safe as she was part of them. Her animal primal nature was part of this jungle and these jaguars. The cats walked in quietly and I could sense while we made love that I was surrounded. This reminded me of the dream vision again. Then I felt male elders and the gods of their spirits come into this temple room. Not in the body but in ghost like spirits. She sat upon my lap and I loved her as she wanted me to do this here and in this special location of a temple. My mind blurred and her scent began to drug over me. A mixture of jaguar and cat and feline and woman of a nature I never knew before. She kept her eyes on me wide open and she seemed to want more connection and I felt she was pregnant for sure. I tried to only think on her. Make her pleased and happy. This was all new for me. This was the first female I was with this way and first immortal. An overwhelming urge washed over me and I felt myself becoming more and more primale there. I wanted to turn her around and make love to her from behind. I did not dare move though being aware of the cats around us. I knew she would be safe but maybe I was the sacrifice and offering. I did not want to upset her gods or the jaguars. The urge though kept coming to me and then I decided to also liberate myself and make love to her more fully. As my own passions moved I found my hands on her hips and rotated her around off my lap and down upon the ground there. As I did I felt her back arch to me cat like and then I found entering her from behind was as if she beckoned me to do so. I found holding her this way most provocative and very primal. I found then I began to be lost in the scents of her. My drug was covering me in all imaginable ways. I felt visions of her running through the rain forest and I saw myself running with her at times. I did not see us together though. I saw the cub watching us from a distance and waiting. I saw us hunt and I saw myself leaving. Always flying off after the forest. I saw us make love with no regrets and I saw no relationship. I was thinking on that and I felt her orgasm and mine again with hers. She drew me to her and I was united and bonded in some way to this rare green eyed girl. Then I saw the cub feed from her breast but he also hunted and fed from the jaguar hunts. I saw him then as a young man talking to me. It was clear he was her son and my offspring but he belonged to her. He was jaguar afterall and I was a bridge for his coming. We made love it seemed for a few hours more and then I felt her weight shift and slide off from my body. She smiled. I was breathing heavily and so was she. She smiled. The cats began to leave. One by one they quietly walked out of the temple. They were our witnesses to this blending and mating. For Libera this joining was a natural act for her and for her breeding. For me this was a new experience and yet I felt very fortunate even though I did to this forest for this. This was something just occurring between us and due to her seeing me when I was hunting in the forest that day. Maybe this was a destiny to meet. Maybe this entire life had something to teach me. I stood up and gave her my hand and she took it. She was so primal and independent. I was not used to this kind of female. I was a male of another time. I was used to standing for a lady and opening doors. Being polite and good manners was a way of how I was. As an immortal people are always drawn to us. She though drew me to her and this forest I stumbled into.

The forest was going to close from me now. I felt it. We had walked back to the car and she got in and I did too. I did not know how far she would ride with me but I knew she would leave when she felt I was near the hotel. Sooner then I knew and the beach off the coastal side we curved into the road to the city now and I saw her body shift in her seat. I drove patiently and slowly so each moment I could remember. I turned down a side street that lead to the café her family I met and had been in the day before. I stopped the car knowing she was going to leave now. She reached over and one hand of hers touched my heart then my forehead. She leaned into me and we kissed. She took my hand to her abdomen and shook her head. I knew she was telling me I was not to follow her or intrude on the cub and her. That the cub she carried belonged to her and with her. I knew that instinctively and nodded in agreement but felt my eyes well up with moisture. My heart understood. She looked into me once more with a deep piercing moment of her green eyes touch me within. Then she was gone. I looked and on the car seat she left a gold Incan chain necklace with Jaguar teeth on them. It was a gift for me. I reached over to hold them and a spark of Vision came to me. I saw this large black jaguar female walking towards me. I stopped breathing for a moment till I saw the cats green eyes. I was Libera and I knew then. She was destined to mate with me and was my anima and I was in some way her animus. That was the bond I felt with this female immortal. I collected the gift and put in my pocket. I was bearing her gift and she carried mine within herself now. Somehow it all felt calm and at peace.

I pulled into the hotel and went up stairs and left the car waiting. Nothing much to gather but one bag and my lap top and looked around the suite. One look out the balcony facing the beach and the sunset and sounds coming to me in its mystery but I was to go now. I knew I would return for business and see her again. See how the cub and she were and see what happens next. There was no feeling of guilt only a feeling that there was something that happened but it left me changed and free at the same time. All my ideas of Victorian male behavior was not how this worked. The same time this worked perfectly with nature and they way she was. I merely followed what brought us to connect and hoped this would always be something good and always with honoring this. Libera and those green eyes and her cat like jaguar nature was something I did not come here to find. It found me. I touched my heart and my forehead as she had done. I was at peace on this circumstance.

Off I went to the lobby and the desk clear nodded that my bill was already taken care of and hoped my stay was good. I nodded. The silver jaguar sat there ready to purr and take me to the airport. I got in and her scent was in the car and I drank her in. My ride to the airport would be filled with her and her smells and Rio and the beauty of the region. Christ the Redeemer was watching Rio and myself too. I smiled as I truly felt grateful.

The airport was its usual hustle and half clad people coming off holiday and many arriving. Bands of music playing and hips swaying. I felt someone watching me and hoped it was her. I could not tell for sure and went thru check in. I head through the terminal and then I turned. As I turned I saw her. She followed me and was watching me. I was being hunted again and I smiled. She was calm and happy. She spoke not a word for I did not expect to. I smiled and nodded and she stood silent like the forest she comes from. I drew in a breath and with my boarding pass in hand I left. I looked once more and she was still there and I looked again and she was gone.

Libera left a mark on me and the necklace in my pocket spoke of this mystery and the bond and something I gave to her and Rio and I would return to see how things would come to be. But for sure I was free as she was too. In my Heart of Hearts it was still Bella. I could not explain that hold on me. First love or her being the most beautiful girl I ever LOVED.

I buckled my seat and hit google to research the temple we had been in. I needed to research the jaguar Incan tribes and also the Forestry connections I had made that day too. I was tired and had a long flight to London now and I knew Rio was going to keep its hold on me and that was as it needs to be. The Forests here would help me and I would help the forests. The flight prepared to take off and so I closed my lap top and my eyes. The jaguar teeth on the necklace held a special feeling for what all transpired. I leaned back and closed my eyes and drifted off in the flight and fell asleep.

The Lap top flashed: _**LIBERA ~ to Liberate ~ to Free up ~ to SET FREE.**_

_**"Libera Anima" ~ Latin for ' Free Spirit'.**_

_**Liberate ~ To release from restraint or bondage; to set at liberty; to free; to disengage; as, to liberate a slave or prisoner; to liberate the mind from prejudice**_

The Screen flashed and went into rest mode and Edward slept.


	17. Chapter 17

**The Forest of Edward's Mind**

Story by Roshandra Mitchell Simon

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra Airriel

All RIGHTS are 'owned' by Roshandra Michel Simon for this Character Name of LIBERA'.

.may not be used or copied.

The forest now called 'Bella' and it was as if she had to follow this trail into the coolness and quiet that was there. The Forest was not where she planned to do that day. Life was moving rapidly into her going off to college and all the other changes she was facing. The Forest was Edward's world but she was drawn back to it to think and sort out things now. Her heart remained true. The Forest held answers for her and so she entered that world.

Chapter 24

Bella's Forest

**Bella's POV ~**

Bella thinking to herself. ~ Her feelings on Edward ~ Her Transition to her Self.

Nothing was working. I was not happy about matters but I was not depressed and I was dealing with it. Jacob was taking the brunt of my anger and worse so was my dad. I was trying not to be upset with all the males in my life or around me. This time I was moving forward and I was determined not to let Edward take over my thoughts or my life again. Yes, of course, I still loved him and I wanted him more than anything. That afternoon I decided to walk back to the area that the forest had memories for me in. I was going to climb and find the quiet again and see my thoughts on what my next step was. I kept walking and had only my back pack on. I felt this sense that the forest was trying to speak to me. I kept shaking that off and thought of all the things that did happen here and then sat down. The tears began to flow then and I was determined not to cry. I was glad I broke things off and told Edward how I felt. I felt terrible about destroying his things and the piano. I was embarrassed now also on how I acted out. I was not very grown up on that. I was glad Alice was there and later my dad comforted me. I did not want to act out like that but I had so much anger at him. Edward upset me so much and all the stress leading up to the day before the wedding. I did feel my behavior was not good. I could have handled it all much better but the drama I acted out. I had to apologize to his family and was going to do that through Alice. I was going to sort this out and why this all turned into such a position of Edward's will and his belief he was doing the right thing to protect me and keep me from being like him.

I felt I was meant to die. So why could Edward think he was saving me and my soul when I was meant to be 'changed' and be like him? Immortal.

Truly I felt I was always falling down or scarping my knees or things happening and accidents. I felt I was suppose to die young in some way. Edward did not understand that. He was actually in my way for what I felt was to happen in my life. Maybe for the right reasons but his doing that was interfering with my own sense of my problem. Maybe he had this all wrong. I never felt so strongly about something like this and maybe that is why I acted out and all that drama after?

I took some of my water and decided to keep hiking. I needed to get to the top of all this and I needed to see the meadow again and the memories of us. I was determined to sort this out and find my way through this.

**Chapter 25**

**Angel of Fate finds Bella in the Forest**

**Orbs**

I could see the rise to the meadow coming just ahead of me and then a cool breeze moved over me. I was determined to not slow down now and just push through my tiredness and make it to the safety of the meadow. Out of the corner of my eye I began to see these spheres of light. Sort of like bubbles and floating from the forest coming around me. That caused me to feel a little concern and if maybe I was not getting enough oxygen to my brain. Then the opening was there and I knew I was ok as the meadow was right in front of me and the shade and shadows of the forest now let me go.

Sunlight burst forth over the meadow and all the lavender flowers. It took my full attention now and I just stood there motionless taking it all in. I felt such a special feeling for this place. I wondered if it was going to be kind to me again now. I needed the kindness at this moment. My heart burst open and something almost knocked me over with a feeling of love and of the openness here. I grabbed my chest and then I saw this angel I thought in the center of the meadow. I could not move. Around the angel were orbs. I was standing there as if struck by a sunbeam.

My reality was changing so rapidly that my heart was ready to release a flood of my tears. Then I was able to feel my feet move and I walked to the middle of the meadow. Something was guiding me there.

The beauty of the meadow almost glistened now around me. It was as if it became alive with a feeling of magic. My mind raced ahead of itself and I kept thinking when Edward and I met and when he brought me to this meadow. I felt I was in a dream and kept walking to the center of what was drawing me closer. A large tree off to one side began having movement of shadows there. My eyes moved to it but then back to the center of the meadow were this bright light was. Orbs moving around it dancing with it and it made me suddenly feel safe. I began to cry. Quietly and yet tears streamed down my cheek. It was as if something was taken off my heart. Maybe my anger or bitterness at Edward and what happened? Maybe my own pain over this conflict and our love was being lifted from my heart? I did not know but my tears were flowing gently.

I moved to the center of this beautiful memory. I found myself sitting down again in the flowers and the visions began to roll off my mind. This light began to speak to me and I could hear this music of what I would call heavenly.

"Bella, I am so glad you entered back here. This forest is part of you too and you came to understand what happened. Is this True?"

In my mind I was going to speak to this lovely voice and lightbut I spoke outloud.

"Yes, and the pain I feel and loss is hard for me to breathe. Yes, I came here to remember and feel the love again. Yes, and I so miss what we had and him. I so don't like to admit that but I miss him so much."

"He misses you. He is going to England now to focus on his work. He misses you much more then he will admit and his pain is very deep."

I found myself sitting down there in the meadow and my legs not able to hold me up anymore. Whatever this spirit was she was speaking to me and her message was causing my heart to feel and see this truth. " Why then why did he mess this up for us? Why did he do this to me to us and why did he feel I was not to be with him?"

"Bella, in his view he was doing the right thing and he felt he could not solve this. He felt he was protecting you and he felt your life and heart meant so much to him but he wanted you to move on."

I found my voice again and my anger. " He had this all wrong. From the time we met and he brought me here to tell me about himself. Who he was and what he was I felt none of that mattered. I always only felt the love. We were meant to be together and be in Love."

"Bella, do you believe in FATE?"

I looked up from the tears spilling over my eyelashes and found my voice again. " I do believe in FATE. Edward is my Fate. Being with him is my fate. But Edward does not believe in that fate and thinks of Destiny and choice. He felt that I had a Choice on being like him and he wanted me to be as I am. I felt I was always meant to die. I felt that was my FATE also. In both ways Edward was not allowing me, was not allowing us to have this fate for our lives to come together . I felt helpless and that is why I broke off the wedding."

"Bella, maybe FATE is far more wise then you know. Edward does believe in destiny and options. He felt once he became aware of your vulnerabilities and this second chance he became clear again he felt he had to protect you from a life with how he was. Bella, maybe you just need to give Fate time to work this out for both you star crossed loves."

I took in a deep breath. The entire meadow was glistening. Orbs danced around this beautiful spirit and I began to see she had wings. My tears overflowed now for this love from her I felt and the beauty I saw. I was in a pool of my feelings and feelings for my Edward and this meadow. I was breathing heavy and could not speak another word.

"Bella, Fate is helping you both. Trust your original instincts on this and let Time move and see how this unfolds."

My voice came rattling out of me with my warrior sword. "Oh, never,, I will never give him another chance. I would rather die then give him another chance!"

I could not believe what came out of my mouth. My anger and bitterness came out of my mouth and feelings poured out into this beautiful meadow that held our love. I realized I needed to somehow come to peace on this and let this go. I could only say one more question."

" Who are you?

She spoke and the orbs came in closer around her. "Fate. I am the Angel of FATE."

Then I broke into full sobbing tears. What I believed in most was guiding me to my meadow and was telling me that it was She that was guiding this matter. I sobbed so deeply and hard and I surrendered to it all. All of it. The Pain. His hurting me again. Even for what he thought was the noble and right reasons of this matter. I sobbed and my Heart was pouring forth was behind it all. This LOVE. My Love. LOVING Edward and Loving our LOVE. He opened my heart. My dreams and my wishes opened with him. He was my knight and he shined and I felt forever safe with him. I felt I was meant to be for him and with him. Like an old story or novel of history past. I felt from the moment I saw him and he saw me that we were Fated to be together always.

"Trust in what you feel and know. Things like this have their own timing and reasons and ways. Trust your Heart Bella."

Her words resonated so clearly for me and I felt this heaviness lift off my chest. I felt my anger lift. I felt my pain go to peace. I felt my lungs open up and I could breath in the flowers here again. I felt my body lighten up and I felt grateful. I felt blessed. I felt whole again. I felt myself again."

"I have no idea what to do now and I feel lost in this mess."

"Bella, things have a way of working themselves out. Things including when we think it won't work out. FATE is all about solving that in a way no one sees. That is why it's called FATE."

"Ok then and what about this fact I feel I am to die young? I always felt that way"

"Bella, don't put the cart before the horse. Maybe you shall die young but maybe this will all work out in the meantime. There are things in life and love that just must take its course and unfold for love and lovers."

She smiled and began to disappear. I could not move and I saw the orbs lifting with her. I began to feel tired and my emotions were calm and I found myself laying back down in the meadow A dream washed over me and a deep deep sleep. I drifted off and the sun bathed me and my heart hummed again. I felt lighter and somehow at peace now. The meadow was restored and I slumbered. I whispered in my dream. 'Thank you angel of FATE.'

" I do believe in Fate and my Love Story. Thank you FATE."

**Chapter 26**

**Angel of Fate watching**

**~ The Dream carries Bella to her new Life**

The dream and the dreamer in me seemed merged into the one real me. I watched myself in the dream but the feelings were of only me Bella. I was drifting from the meadow into a fairy forest. The Forest had mythical animals and I saw jaguar cats. This forest was something I had never seen. I saw jaguars in trees and slumbering cats of all breeds and sizes. I then saw unicorns and then I saw the most beautiful pair of white ones come right to me where I was resting. I woke up in the dream and followed them. The jaguar cats watched and kept an eye on me. It was strange to see jaguars and unicorns all in the same landscape of this dream. I shrugged it off and followed the trail the orbs were guiding me to take. The orbs were purple and greens and I could see through them. I tried to touch one and it gently pulled away from me almost hearing it laugh. I walked on and then an opening in the trees showed me a very high castle of sorts. It was not a usual castle but it seemed to be a castle. I walked on to where it was taking me. I looked behind and out of the forest came the jaguars. One that had green eyes seemed to follow me. I remember the green eyes clearly. This cat was black but it seemed to change to a honey color and black circles around the spots and then yellow gold eyes. I walked on and held no fear or concern about the jaguar with green eyes. When I got to this castle like place I noted it looked like nothing I ever saw before. It was Incan in some way and rather South American. It was also temple like and reminded me of a castle for a female or woman empress. I felt a moment of waiting before I entered the castle. I saw the Angel of FATE and I felt safe again. When I went into the castle I heard Edward's voice. It was really his thoughts. I kept seeing trees and forest and his walking through and by many trees. These trees all were communicating to him in some way. He was helping the trees in some way and maybe many forests. I wanted to focus on that but the dream kept me moving. I then saw the most beautiful Goddess ever and sitting upon a throne. She was clad in all white and gold and I saw a black cat near her I knew was Baast. She smiled at me and beckoned me closer. Behind her was a painting that seemed real. It was changing with the night and daytime. It was Rio and Christ the Redeemer. She smiled and beckoned me to sit and join her. I did so and I kept hearing Edward's thoughts. I was quiet so I could listen and see what this Goddess wanted me to know.

"Do the jaguar cats frighten you?"

I shook my head no. Then my thoughts moved to her. I did like this castle. I asked why she brought me here.

"So you could see your FATE coming and not misunderstand the reason for the jaguar. Edward had a destiny to fulfill on that and your Fate will all happen. Happy endings are part of this castle and dream you are having."

Then the dream was over. I do not remember how much longer I slept there in the meadow.

I only remember feeling rested and getting up and touching my fingers to my lips and kissing the ground of this meadow. I walked down the hill and home. Time moved so swiftly and I was home before sunset. Grateful of my nap in the meadow and the Angel of FATE and this mid day Dream I carried home with me.

I could not shake this off for days. I merely hummed. I merely felt song in my heart. I was happy again. I could not say why but for some reason I felt things would all work out fine. Even if I felt I was meant to die somehow I felt I was going to die in the arms of my Love. I somehow felt at peace with it all now. I so love the meadow again and I so loved knowing somehow things would work out just fine.

My thoughts took me to college and exploring a career in fabrics for a fully sustainable planet. I wanted to create clothing that did not harm nature or the forest or industries. I wanted totally green. My Life, Clothing, and My Heart was all to be green. Everything was going green now. Food I ate. Colors around me were going green. It was time to flourish again and I truly felt happy again and at peace. The Meadow sorted me out like a Harry Potter sorting hat. I smiled at that thought. It was so good to let go of my hurt and anger and resentment. I felt happy again and I felt my Dream of Love somehow was going to work out just FINE. I did not know how or when or the methods of this. I did know I was in the hands of FATE and I believed in this and so my LIFE was in this moment for my living now and being fine. I smiled to myself again and I hummed a song. I whispered ' thank you'.

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra Airriel gmailcom

All RIGHTS are 'owned' by Roshandra Michel Simon for this Character Name of LIBERA'.

.may not be used or copied.


	18. Chapter 18

**The Forest of Edward's Mind**

Story by Roshandra Mitchell Simon

August 11, 2011 ~ all rights of "The Forest of Edward's Mind" is reserved and owned by Roshandra Mitchell Simon ~ characters of this story belong to Stephanie Myers of Twilight.~ STORY Created by Roshandra Mitchell Simon for Fan Fiction. Please email Roshandra Airriel

All RIGHTS are 'owned' by Roshandra Michel Simon for this Character Name of LIBERA'.

.may not be used or copied.

London

Chapter 27

"Sir, sir, we are landing shortly. Please put your safety belt on. Thank you."

I looked around and began to see the landing sign on above my head and seat belt sign. I had slept throughout the flight and we were already coming into the approach to the Heathcliff airport in London, England. I looked over at my Zen note book and touched the enter key. Up flashed the last command on my screen before I fell asleep. "Liberate" and Libera. The plane was landing and I hit 'delete'. It was all still a blurr to me and what it was meant to be in my life. My heart though had that sore spot in it named Bella. I was clear inside myself that that ache there was never going to leave me. I did not want it to go anyway. I had no solution how I could have worked that out so it could be. So that pain remained with me and honestly in its silent way it was going to remain part of me forever. I had already made up my mind on that long before we had that 'talk'. Bella was my true love and nothing would ever change that. I sighed and looked out the window and saw what was going to be my new home. I was coming in right after the celebration of the 2012 Olympics. I chuckled to myself thinking of the difference of cities of the one I just left in Brazil and now I was coming to the United Kingdom. Flags everywhere I felt this was going to be about a walk into history for me. Suddenly my thoughts were jarred as I felt the tires of the plane hitting the tarmac and the engines reversing. We landed and my heart ache became quiet. Libera was off the note book screen now too and I closed it fully. Time to meet my family and see where our new home was. Then the flight was moving to the gate and a British accent from one of the flight attendants was letting us know the weather and temperature. I felt like I was meeting my new life now and with me I carried Bella in my heart. Libera was carrying my offspring and I knew that was to stay with her. My Life had only one gate now and that was to live in England and focus on my Business enterprise. I was going to surround myself with trees and the forest and I was going to make sure I was going to keep myself busy on that. My life was going British now. My cell vibrated and I knew it was Carlisle.

"Edward, son you are going through customs and I will meet you at the door there. Good flight?"

"Yes, Carlisle. Good flight and I slept. I also got a good start on my business there in Rio with a contact."

" Good, we can talk on the ride to the country. Esme found a wonderful estate to remodel and I think you will like it

" I am sure it's going to be a special project and tell me more about it on the ride there. Talk soon as I get through the customs." All the accents were English now and the very British feeling you get on a tour. Union Jack flags and a Olympic posters all over. I felt the entire place had a cherry feeling to it and so different as I was in a new home. The rolling sidewalk too us to the customs section and there where the stone faced inspectors watching. Each person arriving had their own agenda and so did I. It would be fast and I was going to meet Carlisle shorting and see where our new living home was.


End file.
